That's a Wrap

Well here it is, my final entry of this blog, and my thank you, for what has been an amazing run in Toronto. All of which, you have all contributed to, in some form or another. It's been a long time since I've contributed to this forum, not for lack of interest, but mostly because I had felt that I had said most of what I wanted to say, in relation to what I set out to accomplish with these writings. Hopefully to inspire, to educate, and to make young dancers everywhere know that all that we go through, is pretty universal. I've also been putting off the writing of this last entry, because in an odd way, it feels the same as closing a show. I have loved Toronto greatly, and have felt that for the most part, it has loved me back. The business, although not remotely steady in this country, has been very good to me, and I'd like to think that I, in turn, have been good to it.
I write this entry, at the kitchen table, of a tiny little house on Blue Rocks Road, in Lunenburg Nova Scotia. As I look out the window, to the harbour on this bright, sunny day,  I can't help but feel sentimental, as I look back on the last twenty eight years, and on the people, and the experiences, life has afforded me. All of you have helped shape the artist I have become, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So, lets get down to it shall we, why the change? I wish I could give you just one answer, but really, there are many. What I can tell you, is that about three years ago, I started to feel a shift in my life, and the lives of  those in the business around me, that one would consider to be their tribe. (People who are like minded and share your interests.) Now in this long career, I have gone through a few tribes, and with each evolution, the people I had shared time with are all wonderfully flawed, interesting, and gifted artists. Many of us stay connected, but it is the nature of both living in the city, and how our careers evolve, many of us do not. What can be quite wonderful, is when we do get to re connect, we can pick up exactly where we left off, which in itself, is a wonderful thing.

Myself with my friend and mentor
 Stelio

 I first felt this when my friend, (and someone I consider a mentor), Stelio Calagias left Toronto. I had known Stelio since I had moved to Toronto, and had taken his class, on and off since that time. For over ten years, I had been teaching at his studio, Metro Movement, and during that time, I had developed a great fondness for him, and his generous spirit, which you felt fully as you entered through the doors of Metro Movement. Although he handed over the studio to very capable, wonderful people, (Kalie Hunter and Phil Nero), when he left, it felt like an end to an era. The shift in my universe, was beginning to take shape.

Ballet class selfie at Metro Movement 

Upon Stelio's leaving, a snowball effect had been put in place. Friends that I had danced with or who had taken my class were no longer around. Many were off doing shows, having babies, and some had left the business entirely. Par for the course.  One day, while taking ballet class, I looked around and realized, that once again, I was the last man standing, and although it was a pretty full class, I felt like I was on my own.

Teaching class at Metro Movement

As for my teaching, although I had always managed to do pretty well, when you teach at a drop in studio, students really come and go in waves. People start to get jobs in the industry, ( which is what you hope for them), or their schedule all of a sudden changes, they move away, and many move on from the business entirely. It's a never ending cycle of people entering and leaving your life.  As well, to be completely honest, over time, as a teacher, you come in and out of favour constantly. There are times when your popularity soars, and your class is packed, and times when you are no longer the hottest ticket in town. It's just the way it is, and it happens to everyone who teaches. It's not personal, it's just reality. I've loved the dancers I've had the opportunity to teach, I really have, and in turn, they have taught me so much.

Oddly enough, through this time, I was coming off some amazing career highs. From playing Lank in Crazy For You, doing two wonderful productions of Mary Poppins, in three wonderful theatres, and getting to play Mr. Braithwaite, (my dream role), in Billy Elliott, life after fifty really delivered. Not to mention, I had started booking some choreography jobs. I was living a pretty cool dream, and if you've read more of my writings, you'd know that I've had, and continue to have, a pretty blessed career.

Through the years, I had also managed to secure very flexible work outside of theatre, to sustain me during those down times. It was during this time, I was working for the C.O.C. in Toronto for the last few seasons, and in fact loved that job. It is a very artist friendly environment, and allowed me a lot of freedom when it came to booking shows. Management at the C.O.C. tends to hire a lot of interesting people, who are artists themselves, be they dancers, singers, writers, photographers, you name it. You are never lacking for great company or good conversation. (It's a place I highly reccomend to anyone in the arts who needs to supplement their income.)

As Mr. Braithwaite, backstage at MTC

Much of my work over the last few years  had taken place at The Capitol Theatre in Port Hope. Port Hope is a tiny little picturesque town in Ontario, which I had developed a great fondness for. In many ways, no one was more surprised than me. I mean really, I'm a city guy. I always took advantage of the city and all it has to offer, why all of a sudden this new found fondness for small town living? It turns out, there are many reasons. I love the pace, the beauty, and how friendly the people are. There's nothing I like more, than walking down the street and having someone say hello to me, or going to a really great farmers market.  I have also developed a great affection for The Capitol Theatre, and for those who work there. So far, I have done five shows there, one of which I choreographed, and the most recent, I choreographed and also played a small role in. This theatre has served me well and has given me many opportunities, for which I am grateful.

Mordcha and Avram/Myself and Jeremy Lepalme,backstage at Fiddler in Port Hope

So again, you may ask, why the need for change? On the surface, one might think that to ask for anything more than what I'd already accomplished, could be considered to be fool hardy. After all, nothing was going poorly, and the length of my career alone had far exceeded my expectations. So really, what gives? Its simple really, I had started to feel that life was becoming extremely predictable, and it was time to shake things up a bit. We decided on Lunenburg as we have family here, love being by the ocean, and love the community. Lunenburg has a real history to it, and is a World Unesco Heritage town. The charm of this picturesque, tiny little village on the water, is equally matched by the friendly, welcoming nature of its people. Many in the arts end up moving here, and when you wander the streets, it's easy to see why. Lunenburg has a real pulse when it comes to the arts, and maybe here, there could be opportunity to start something new. In recent years, a world class music academy, (L.A.M.P., Lunenburg Academy of Music Performance), has taken flight, along with the Folk Harbour Music Festival, and the Lunenburg Doc Fest. Perhaps there is room for a small summer theatre to emerge, who knows. For now, I'm leaving my options open, and I'm hopeful that the right opportunities will present themselves, at the right time.

So just to be clear, I have not left the business, but rather just changed postal codes. My career will most certainly be different, but for me, different equals inspiration. Am I done with Toronto, absolutely not. Toronto was my home for twenty eight years, and I plan to come back for both business and pleasure.

Myself with Kellie Nuovo, former student, and someone who continues to ispire

So, life changes, careers evolve, people leave, and we make room for others. Not to neccessarily fill our shoes, but maybe to pick up where we left off. It's important to remember, there's a lot of humanity in what we do, and we must always strive to keep that alive for the generations that follow. I've loved being the Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto, but now its time for a new chapter, and for someone else to claim that title...whether you like it or not. I've had countless opportunities, and many wonderful life experiences along the way. From working with Carol Burnett, to watching Liz Mawson sing The Words, night after night in Anne of Green Gables, what we do is a gift. Performing in not just one, but two Pantos with Mr. Dress Up was definitely a highlite, almost as much as seeing Kellie Nuovo dance again, after having renal failure, and becoming septic while working over seas, (her parents were told to come and say goodbye to their daughter). These are just a couple of examples, of the many cool experiences life has bestowed upon me, and my hope for all of you is that with hard work,  you get to realize all that you are able to become.  What we do is far more than a job, it's an identity. As I've said before, I've never really believed we get to choose what we do, but rather, it chooses us. So, remain open, work hard, take risks, and above all be kind, and stay humble, and as always, I promise that I will strive to do the same.

Rest assured, this isn't good-bye, but simply, I'll see you soon.

With Great Love and Affection
Stephen Scott Findlay- A.K.A.- The Former Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto

It's a Hard Knock Life, Social Media Matters, It's Not Me, It's Them, and Other Clever Anecdotes

Hi all, it's nice to be back. I haven't written a post in a while, but have been putting a few on the back burner. When I first started this blog, I posted much more frequently. But given that I had said so much, and felt that I had covered so much, I usually only post when inspiration hits. Oddly enough, inspiration can be drawn from many unlikely sources.

So, you've been treated unjustly, life has not been fair, and you feel victimised by the business. Well, congratulations, you've made it! You have now entered that elite group of thespians known as EVERY ACTOR IN THE WORLD. I'm not kidding. There isn't one actor I know of on this planet, who has not felt that way at one time or another. The bad news is, that feeling never fully goes away. The good news however, is that if we are smart, we do learn how to deal with those feelings/situations when they arise.

Full disclosure here, when I was younger, I used to hang on to every single audition I did. If I felt I deserved it, and didn't book it, I was a wreck. If I didn't get to audition for something that I felt I should have, I was furious. Sometimes I could hang on to these feelings for days, and more often than not, I felt that I was a victim of someone else's poor judgement, or that I was being denied something that I rightfully deserved. Now eight times out of ten, when I saw the person in the show, who was cast instead of me, I understood it immediately. The other two times, well...in my mind it was usually nepotism, or a casting mistake. But even then, that's an opinion, and not necessarily how others would see it.

Over the years, somehow, I've just learnt how to deal with it better. It's actually not any one thing I did, but rather, I've just gained a maturity and a wider scope of knowledge, when it comes to casting, and really, human nature. Now, when I finish an audition, if I did my best, I've felt that I've done my job, and do my best to forget about it. In which, I'd say, my success rate is about ninety percent. The truth is, if you're feeling that you're a victim in a casting situation, the reality is, you're probably the only one.

I remember the first time I felt victimised. I was nineteen years old and auditioning for the Alberta Ballet Company. At the end of what I felt was a great audition, the artistic director took me to his office and proceeded to tell me that I'd never be a ballet dancer because of the lack of stretch in my feet. He then proceeded to suggest, that I have them broken, to improve the look/stretch of them. Imagine that, telling a nineteen year old child, (if I'm being honest), to break bones in his body, to improve his chances of getting a job. I totally felt victimised, both by my feet, and by his lack of vision. But the truth is, he didn't feel that way, from his perspective,  he felt he was doing me a favour, and my feet, well, they couldn't help it.

As a young ballet dancer, I never had great feet, but I really had a great jump.

Now that was the first time. Over the years, there have been many, many, many times, (yes, that was three many's), that I felt victimised by the business. Although I was always extremely emotional about any given situation, I was always pretty good at hiding those emotions, and usually put on a good game face... except from the people who directly surrounded me. Sadly, they had to endure all of it, and it wasn't pretty. (Ugh, sorry you guys.) I get it, it's tough. I've always felt that along with all the singing, acting, dancing, clowning, and whatever else they may teach you in theatre school, the one thing they all need to touch on, is how to deal with rejection, and what not to do.

Now I can't really tell you to not have feelings or to not feel victimised, all of that is personal, and everyone, I think, needs to come to dealing with those things, on their own terms. I mean really, we're actors, which usually translates to "the most insecure beings ever." What I can tell you is, that it's probably not in your best interest, to post about it on Social Media.
Social Media can be a wonderful thing. It's a great marketing tool, it's free, it can be a lot of fun, and can really serve you in so many ways. But getting caught up in posts that render you the victim, is not serving you, your career, or your mental health in a positive light.

Now, I am certainly not without guilt. At times I could be the worst. Up until not that long ago, I could get in to arguments on Social Media feeds, dealing with whatever the hot political topic of the day was, that seemed to go on indefinitely. In such arguments, I could be like a dog with a bone, and if I felt I was right, I could be relentless. I soon came to realize, that these arguments on a public forum, were extremely toxic by nature, and in the end, served absolutely no one. As a good friend of mine put it "We seem to be doing a lot of talking at each other, and not to each other." Not to mention, everyone sees them. Yes, your SOCIAL MEDIA MATTERS. Thank goodness, there was no social media around at the height of all my actor related neurosis... Oh my, I'd still be making amends.

If I could suggest, that the next time you're feeling victimised by the business, and want to post about it on social media. Stop, and take a breath. Write it down in long hand and read it back to yourself a few times. After that, read it aloud a few times. Now, if you still feel like posting, imagine that every single producer, director, musical director, choreographer, dance captain, casting agent, and agent, that you ever wanted to work with, is on your feed reading this. Now not only are they reading  your woes of victimisation, they're injecting it with tone. Probably not the tone you had intended, but rather their interpretation. (Which we all do. I'm sure every single person reading this post, is injecting it with tone right now. It's impossible not to.) Now if you still want to post on Social Media, fill your boots. But do know, what you post, can have unfavourable consequences, and the last thing any actor needs is a bad reputation, based on what very well could be, a knee jerk reaction.

Make no mistake,  I'm not saying there is no validity to your feelings, or your particular situation. Sometimes things can happen, and yes, sometimes we are the victims of our circumstance, and it can really suck. I'm also not telling you not to vent. Sometimes venting or having a good cry, can be the best thing for us. As long as we don't live in that negative place, it can be quite cathartic. All I'm saying is, choose your venue, and your audience, wisely. Consider going for a glass of wine or for coffee with a friend, and maybe use them as your sounding board. Chances are, they will be a much more empathetic, than your social media following. You can also channel that negativity in a positive way, by putting all that energy in to your work, for the betterment of your craft. After all, we're actors, we need to be able to draw upon all those feelings, at any given time.
Now, I've been quite forthcoming with the fact, that I too, have fallen victim to the rabbit hole of Social Media. I too, have felt victimised by the business, and I too have dealt with things poorly. Even now, if I see a hot topic on facebook that I'm dying to chime in on, I take a step back, take a deep breath, and do my very best to keep scrolling down.
As it is in life, the business, of our business, is not always fair. But really, whoever said it was? For as long as you stay in it, there will always be situations, that feel unjust or unfair. What can determine your success as both an artist, and a human being, is how you choose to deal with these situations when they arise. Now, I know many of you are thinking, yes, but you've had a very long, and a pretty blessed career. Yes, I have. You're right. I've also kept my skills sharp, worked very hard, and deserved every single thing I've ever got, and somehow, still managed to whine a bit along the way.
As I've progressed, I've also managed to be very honest with myself, my abilities, my weaknesses, and insecurities. Looking back, most of the time I felt the victim, I wasn't. More often than not, the people in the position to hire you, don't have "victimising actors" on their to do list. They have much more important things to deal with.

without each other, our light begins to fade

It's no secret, I have a lot of miles on me. Currently, this is my thirty fourth year in the business. I've seen a lot, and have done a lot. For a lot of you reading this, I've actually been in the business longer than many of you have been alive. We all know life isn't easy and we always don't get dealt the best hand. When we do have those times in which our dreams are fulfilled, it can feel euphoric. But when it's the opposite, it can be a pretty hard place to be. At this juncture in life, one of the most important things in my mind, is that we are there for each other, and in support of each other. There's a lot going on in the world right now, that is much more important than that Tim Horton's commercial, or that summer stock production of Mama Mia you just auditioned for. Don't believe me, then turn on the news, and see how the people of Mexico City or Puerto Rico are doing. If that seems far off, there are many places right outside your back door that you can look to. I can't tell you what to do, but if you're an actor actively wanting to work, perhaps keeping your social media in a more positive light, may serve you better in the long run.
Lets wrap this up, shall we; What we do is a wonderful, exciting, maddening, exhilarating, giving, narcissistic, exhausting, healing, painful, emotional, and definitely not for the faint of heart, rollercoaster of a journey. There are many bumps, hills, and sharp turns along the way. At times, it can feel like the most glorious profession in the world, and at times it can feel hopeless. But know this, as long as there are actors, there's an acting community, that will be there for you, and help lift you up, when you are down. No matter who you are in the business, what we do, is an ensemble effort, and if we don't have each other, our light begins to fade.
So, lets take care of each other, support each other, lend an ear, and don't be afraid to give someone a loving kick in the ass when they need it, and I will do the same.

Stephen Findlay

A.K.A. - The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who's managed to now break out of the chorus), in Toronto

                               

                                                 Keeping The Momentum Going


Hi all, I'm back. I haven't contributed to my blog for quite a long time, not because I became disinterested, but because I felt, that I had said a lot already. In fact, I felt that I had covered so much, that I probably would not post again, until I felt I had something of value to add. So, here I am, back at the computer, with plenty to say.

First off, I admit it, I love the month of January. I really do. To me, a new year always represents new opportunities, and a fresh start. Now I know I am not alone in this, if you don't believe me, check out any gym, yoga, or dance studio in your area. I always love too, the energy at the studio come January. You'll always find many people brushing off their dance shoes, with new found determination, getting ready for potential auditions, or perhaps just wanting to get back in shape. Whatever the reason, the energy is always infectious, and inspiring. This past January, as this never ending cycle continues, I have seen so many old and new faces at the studio, and it makes me very happy. I also have to add, it's been a pretty exciting time of late. There seems to be more auditions happening this past year than usual, and dancers are able to step up to the plate, and get their turn at bat. It seemed like for a long time, auditions were few and far between. Many theatres had adopted the mind set of a repertory company, and were hiring mostly dancers that they were familiar with. There are definite benefits to this for sure, for both the dancer and the theatre. I myself have benefited from this. But there's really no substitute from both the energy, and sense of community, that auditioning brings about. It also makes us as dancers responsible, for maintaining and improving upon our skills, that we worked so hard to develop. It keeps the stakes high, and empowers us not to become complacent. A good friend of mine recently said to me, "there's a lot to be said for going to an audition, and feeling that you've earned the job," and I couldn't agree more.


Now I am not really one for making New Years resolutions. I did make one small one...so now I'm drinking warm lemon water before my coffee in the morning. I figured, this accomplishment, would be easy to attain, and it has. I really did not feel the need to make a resolution in regards to dancing or fitness, as I've always been very responsible in regards to them both. Had I not, I would not be dancing at the level I am, at 52 years of age.

After settling back in to the city full time after a wonderful season in Port Hope, I was unable to take class as much as I like, as I was choreographing a cabaret for The Randolph Academy. The whole experience was very fulfilling, but did not keep me in the dance shape, I'm accustomed to being in. So although it wasn't a "resolution", I was determined that come January, when things on all fronts were slow for me, I would get back in to solid dance shape. Now, ten years ago, this would have taken me a week, but at fifty two years of age, you can triple that amount of time, and add in a bottle of tylenol, to compliment the process. So, as far as that all goes, I'm feeling pretty good, and I am starting to feel on top of things again.  

On stage at the Capitol Theatre in Port Hope

So this morning, I kind of surprised myself. As always, I had a lot to accomplish today, and was on the fence about going to class. What I have left out thus far, is that at this point and time, my work at the COC is quite slow, and I do in fact, have a lot of time on my hands. My point being, I have plenty of time, to do whatever needs to be done. I knew January would be slow, and had planned for that financially, and had also planned to dance as much as I could. So in recognizing that, I immediately went upstairs and packed my dance bag. I was not going to miss out on the opportunity to take dance class today. I thought, "I must keep the momentum going."

It did make me think though, is this new found January energy going to continue? Will the studio continue to be that bustling, energetic place, it has been for the last few weeks? Will the people that committed to getting their dancing back in shape continue? After all, experts say it takes three weeks to develop a new habit. Will I see the same people, and others, in February, continuing on with their new found habit? Well, I don't know, but given my optimistic nature, I am going to hope for the best!

Musical Theatre Class at Metro Movement

What became very clear to me this morning, was the fact, that the dance studio has always been a great source of joy for me. This became even more poignant, given that yesterday was the Bell Let's Talk Campaign, dealing with, and talking about mental illness. Now, I do not suffer from mental illness, I may share some of the same anxieties as everyone else, but they are not insurmountable. I do feel however, that I am very lucky to have dance as a source of joy. Throughout my life, on any given day, no matter how I felt going in, that as long as I was in good physical health, I always felt better for going to dance class. It's simple really, tap shoes make me happy, lay backs give me great satisfaction, and there's nothing as exhilarating as doing grand allegro at the end of a great ballet class. It's just who I am. So today of all days, I'm very happy I did not deny myself of my joy.

Taking class with Stephanie Cadman

So, for those of you who share my joy of dance class, please, do your very best to keep that habit going. I fully realize that different sets of challenges do affect us all, be it financial, work, lack of motivation, injuries, all are valid and all are pretty much going to creep their way in to our lives. Welcome to adulthood. But I always maintain, challenges present themselves, so that we can overcome them. There may be bumps along the way, and at times you will fall off the bus, I certainly have, but do know, the ride becomes far less bumpy, once you get back on.

So here's hoping I'll see all those happy, wonderful, dancers, I've become so accustomed to seeing this past month, in the coming weeks. I encourage you all, to keep the momentum going! The rewards in doing so may not be immediate, but surely they will present themselves at some point along the way.


Sincerely Stephen Scott Findlay

A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (well actually, I do get roles now), in Toronto

Hi All.
I'm back. I haven't written anything in quite a while, but do have something new coming your way soon. I had written an open letter a while back, in response to some of the backlash to the TTC's, We Move You Campaign, featuriting artists of The National Ballet of Canada. I was asked to re post this last night, so decided to post it on my blog. I had received both positive and negative feedback, but am happy to say, that the positive far outweighed the negative. So...here it is.

An Open Letter to Jill Andrew and Body Confidence Canada

Dear Jill Andrew, my name is Stephen Findlay and I am a part of the Toronto theatre / dance community. It is a community I’m very proud to be a part of for many reasons. It is a hugely talented community that is diverse, inclusive, creative, and exciting.  In reading your response online regarding the TTC “We Move You” campaign, featuring five of the dancers of the National Ballet of Canada, I couldn’t help but feel both surprised and saddened, by your response to the efforts of both the TTC and The National Ballet of Canada, to promote both the arts and transit, in this great city.

By no means is this letter meant to undermine your cause or what you may have experienced personally. I think anyone who fat shames anybody is extremely ill informed, and unkind. I personally do not subscribe to this kind of behaviour, nor would I defend anybody who does. I myself am a member of the LGBTQ community, so I do know what it’s like to feel marginalized. I have never experienced racism, nor have I experienced fat shaming, but believe me when I tell you, I’ve experienced much prejudice, as well as bullying growing up, because of who I was, and because I studied dancing.

In reading your response, as well as watching news clips online, I felt the need to put to rest some misconceptions the general public may have about ballet dancers. One of which, that dancers are skinny. Dancers are in fact, lean, muscular athletes, who train very hard, from a very young age to do what they are able to do, and look the way they look. Believe me when I tell you, it is not about being skinny. The physical demands of a dancer are so very great, that very few are actually suitable for a career as a classical dancer. Some of the criteria includes natural turn out from the hip, feet and ankles that are supple, so that they may stretch beautifully. There needs to be a certain amount of natural flexibility present, short to medium length torso, long legs, and on, and on, and on.  It’s a long check list, that very few fulfill.  For the most part, serious training usually starts around the age of ten, and continues throughout their careers. Once a dancer is employed by a company, their average work week is six days a week, eight hours a day, with their day usually beginning with company class. So yes, a dancer may not be your everyday, average body type, but the dancers in question have trained many years to achieve what they have achieved both physically, and artistically, and I am not alone when I say I think they’re worth celebrating.

(One does wonder if we’d be having this conversation if this was a campaign featuring our countries Olympic Athletes, or one of our sports teams such as the Raptors or Blue Jays, all of whom are highly skilled athletes, whose bodies are also muscular and athletic.)

I also feel the need to point out, that we live in a country that needs to celebrate its artists more than we do. To be an artist in Canada presents so many challenges, that to not support campaigns such as this, I find, to be very disheartening. The National Ballet of Canada, founded in 1951, is one of the most revered ballet companies in the world. Their dancers are second to none, and are highly regarded on a world-wide scale. I would go as far to say that The National Ballet of Canada, is a shining jewel of the Canadian dance world. To not support them and their dancers, seems almost philistine.

We live in a time where we need to educate our audience in not only dance, but in all of the arts. Art is important on so many levels, and is an important part of what makes Toronto a world class city. I’d go even further and say that Canadian artists are an important part of our cultural identity, and it is high time that we all stand up and recognize that. I, for one, applaud the TTC for featuring these wonderful artists in their “We Move You” campaign, and would love to see more campaigns like this, featuring artists from many different mediums, irrespective of size, race, religion, or sexual orientation. Artists in Canada, need our support, not our disdain. After all, this is just one campaign. As pointed out by Stuart Green from the TTC, they’ve partnered with many diverse groups in past campaigns, and hopefully will continue to do so.

I’d be remiss not to mention, that talent and body size aside, dancers are still just everyday people, who experience everyday challenges, like everyone else. I’m sure your response to their participation in this campaign, hurt them deeply. Not to mention, the wonderful photographer who took these beautiful photos. Artists invest so much of themselves in what they do, that to be regarded in this manner, although not intentional, would make them feel undervalued as not only artists, but as everyday people. Yes, everyday people, who like myself, take the TTC.

Sincerely

Stephen Findlay-

So there you have it. When I first wrote this, I realized, that although backlash like this is not new, it occured to me that we as a society, have become so offended at so many things. Some things are extremely justified, and deserve our disdain, and some, although they may come from a good place, seem often misguided. Some of the things that offend me are poverty, animal abuse, homophobia, racism, it's quite a lengthy list. But when it comes to the arts and the artists, who bring so much joy to so many, I have nothing but admiration and respect for all that you are. So please keep creating. You do make a difference.

Happy Holidays Everyone. Go out and see a ballet, listen to a concert, or go support support a small storefront theatre. I'm quite certain you'll be glad you did. I've done a lot of this, this past little while, and I'm all the better for it. I truly believe that when you contribute to the arts, you are in fact contributing to humanity.

Sincerely Stephen Scott Findlay-AKA -The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto

Okay...So Now What?

So you did it, you landed that dream contract, and It was quite possibly everything and more than you could ever hope for. Or perhaps you just graduated from theatre school, in which you'd received accolades from all your teachers, friends and family, for all that you've accomplished. You've posted your photos on Facebook, and added twenty new people to your friend's list. Your recent tweet on your Twitter account reads #livingthedream #grateful #actorslife. Things just couldn't be any better because after all, you've made it, and you're ready to take on the world, except for one thing... what happens now? It was just last week, when you were living out your life on the stage, and, as abruptly as it started, it has now come to an end. All of a sudden many of your new friends are going their separate ways, you no longer have a daily routine to look forward to, the paycheque has stopped, and just like that, you're right back where you started. Welcome to the world of the theatre.
Now before we all decide to slit our wrists,... lets just stop and think about it for a minute. You've just accomplished something you've worked very hard towards, for many, many years. You met and worked with thoughtful, engaging artists, and were able to learn so much from them. You had many wonderful and new life experiences, that you'll be able to draw on for the rest of your life. So, why so blue? There's an old saying that reads "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." Well, I'd like to add to that, to read  "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and every show you ever do, is going to close." (It was Benjamin Franklin who came up with the first part, I just added the new part,

Closing night of The Sound of Music

 to suit my needs.)

Having been in the business as long as I have, I have gone through my share of shows coming and going, and projects that have been very special to me, finishing. It's never easy, but, does become easier. Of course I can only speak from my experience, and my perspective as to what works for me. But the way I see it, if you're starting to feel like you're in a rut, you probably are. I remember quite vividly being finished on The Sound of Music. For the next month, everything I cooked had melted cheese on it. Now, most of it was delicious, and I was feeling pretty optimistic, but do remember thinking to myself "this has to stop."
Truth be told, I was always pretty good at recognizing if I was in a rut, and most recently, have come across many friends who are in fact feeling this way. Not all for the same reasons, but all to do with the business of theatre. There's no doubt that this business is a tough haul. At some point or another, no matter who you are, you're going to go through a tough period. There are very few actors in this country who work consistently, and, whether someone works or not, is due to so many circumstances, most of which are beyond our control, and quite often have nothing to do with talent.  Quite often, when a show closes, it's quite easy to be fearful that we may never work again, and when auditions are scarce, we start to panic. But really, why all the fuss?
Now you may be thinking that this is very easy for me to say because I work all the time. Actually, I don't work all the time. In fact, there have been many instances in my life where I haven't worked in months. I may work all summer, then not work again until the following summer or longer. Especially now that I'm older, I'm a very specific hire. The difference is, it seems like I work all the time, as I'm always working on my craft. People often say to me "you're always so busy." Truthfully, I'm busy because I need to be. Holidays aside, If I'm not busy, I'm not productive, and most likely am not growing as an artist. For me personally, I need to be fulfilled, and a big part of that, is doing whatever I need to do, to enable my growth as an artist.
Admittedly, I am lucky that I teach, as that always makes me feel a part of things, but for me, that is never enough. I have found over the years, that once a show closes, or project finishes, what works best for me, is to become a student again. I usually take a few days off, then am right back at it, taking whatever classes are within my reach and budget. If money is an issue, I have vocal classes recorded that I can practice. Most recently, I came across a free acting seminar with a teacher from L.A. and jumped on it. Fitness has always been a big part of my work, and quite honestly lifts my mood.  There was one point in my life where I had very little money to take class, but at my gym, they had a studio and a ballet barre that I was able to take advantage of. It wasn't ideal, but it was something. The point is, I don't sit around and get sad because it's over.   I'm thankful that it happened, and then I'm on to working towards whatever may be next.

Most recently, I met a struggling actor who had just moved here from Montreal. He was mid thirties, non union, and was in the midst of trying to establish himself in a new city. I asked him how he coped, with very little at his disposal. He told me that every week, he got together with a group of actors to do scene study and script readings, as none of them had the means to take class at the moment. Earlier this season I did a Confidential Musical Theatre Project, in which I worked with many talented actors. I remember one in particular who blew my mind with both her voice and energy. This actor was vivacious, interesting, and a major force to be reckoned with. I was stunned to find out that although she had been in the business a long time, her career was just starting to take off now. The point is, these people are sticking with it, and really, for someone like me, they are the ones, I draw on for inspiration.

I remember quite vividly, reading one of the late Uta Hagen's books on acting, (for those of you who aren't familiar with who she is, she was a renowned, New York  actor and teacher), in which she expressed how taken a back she always was, when friend's of hers would say things like "You're such a wonderful actor, it's a shame you're not working." You see, in her mind, she was always working. If she wasn't doing a show at that given moment, she was always developing new exercises and trying new things, to enhance her craft. That was something that has always stuck with me.

So, schools out, your show closed...get over it, and get busy. By all means, allow yourself a little down time, but if you're starting to feel like you're in a rut, do something about it. Go to class, write, work on some music, challenge yourself and take something that's totally out of your comfort zone, and by all means if you're whining, stop, and take in to consideration the numerous actors who just wish, they had had, the same opportunities afforded to you. If you have the opportunity, travel. Although I'm a big advocate of working hard, seeing the world and experiencing different cultures, in my mind, is invaluable.

In Sitges, Spain. Travel is important!

Although this can be a tough time, this can also be an amazing time of self discovery. That in itself is exciting. So take advantage, enjoy the ride, bumps and all, it's what makes us human, keeps us humble, and makes us interesting.
And remember... Who cares if life doesn't turn out exactly as planned.  Sometimes, it's even better!

Stephen Scott Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who's now getting character roles because I work really hard), in Toronto

Life After Mary and Re Learning How to Juggle

Well..I'm back...and after a four month absence, I've finally sat down to write my first blog post of 2015. Now there are a couple reasons for my absence, one, I've been vacillating on what to write about next, and two, I've been busy. That's right, busy.
 I've been thinking a lot about being busy lately. There's definitely good busy, and then there's being so busy, that it can take away from life and it's enjoyment. I'm unsure why, but in this day and age, we seem to wear our busy schedules like a badge of honour. Think about it, often when asking someone how they are doing, more often than not, they'll ramble on about how they're juggling three jobs, a home life, and whatever extra curricular activity they may be pursuing at any given moment. They relay this information with great pride, almost as if they should be given a special award for the ability to maintain their busy lifestyle. Then we have the other end of the spectrum, you know, those times in our lives when we're not very busy at all. For some reason, we as a society have come to be embarrassed by this fact. I find that in the business of Art/Theatre/Entertainment, we become even more embarrassed by this  because usually being "not busy" means we are not working. I don't know about you, but in the past, I used to feel my self worth as an artist, was directly related to the jobs I was being cast in. It took me a long time to realize that not to be true. In fact, at times, being "not busy" means I have more time to train, connect with people I love, take on new and exciting projects, or, even being in a show.
Allow me to explain that last statement. I had an amazing season last year with Mary Poppins. I was able to perform in two different productions, in three wonderful theatres. There are many things I loved about last season...working with wonderful, giving artists, travelling and living in different places, being given the opportunity to perform multiple roles, the list is abundant and real. One of the things I loved most, is that once the show was up and running, my schedule was normal. That's right, normal. I had one job, a lot of leisure time, and I loved it. I was able to spend a lot of time at the gym, re-connecting with friends and family, and honestly, just enjoying my life. It was great!

As Northbrook in Mary Poppins backstage at The Capitol Theatre in Port Hope

Towards the end of the run in Port Hope, with not a lot of work lined up, I thought to myself, "I just want to be really busy." Well...I got my wish. The week before our run in Port Hope was about to finish, the only work I had lined up was teaching one class a week at Metro Movement, and I was nervous about not having enough work to sustain me. As luck would have it, Sheridan College found themselves in need of a jazz teacher, and once again I was hired. It was a relief. If nothing else, my mortgage was covered. Upon my arrival home, I also managed to book a lot of catering shifts, and from there, the ball just kept rolling. In October I started working part time at The Four Season's Centre for the Arts, (a job that I have become quite fond of), and although every situation is not ideal, I felt that indeed I had been looked after. Now, I have never been one to shy away from hard work, but my greatest challenge of late has been finding balance in my life. At present I'm juggling four jobs, to make up for one. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining, I'm just re learning how to juggle. I've had to become more aware of what's important and what warrants my time the most. Many would think that spending time to write this blog may in fact be a waste of time for someone so busy. Well, on the contrary,  for me, I find it very rewarding. Just like I find going to a dance class or vocal class very rewarding. In my life , these are the things that are still important.

One of my greatest joys in this past four months was being cast in The Confidential Musical Theatre Project. (I know...as if I didn't have enough on my plate). The Confidential Musical Theatre Project is the Brain Child of Marion Abott Piccin and Rob Corbett. For those of you who don't know, the concept is this: Producers cast a show and send you the script and score. You learn the music and familiarize yourself with the part you've been cast in, but never rehearse with the other actors. Then on the night of the show, you meet the cast, (for the first time), an hour and a half before the show, and perform, script in hand on a bare bones stage, for an audience that does not know what show they're about to see. There's no safety net, you have no idea how the other actors are going to respond, and there's no going back... It's terrifying and invigorating at the same time. I can honestly tell you that I had never felt more alive and more present on stage than I had on that night. When I was first approached about doing this project, I jumped at the opportunity. I did not ask what the show was, or what part I'd been playing, I just said yes. I had heard about the companies past two shows, and my short background at Second City had made me very excited to work on a project of this nature. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been cast as the leading man. I was flattered, surprised, and kind of scared. This would be my first time doing a lead in a musical and there were sure to be expectations, and if I'm totally honest, judgement. I could just hear it..."Stephen Findlay, the dancer, doing a lead in a musical...how did that happen? Can he even sing?"  But once I got over myself, (realizing that the voices of judgement and fear were for the most part mine), as well as the initial shock and fear of the producers casting decision, I got to work...which didn't feel like work at all. I learnt the music, and dove in to the script to see if I could figure out who this person was. Not having the benefit of a director, I truly had to trust my gut on whatever choices I made, knowing that I'd never have the opportunity to re visit or re think these choices again. That's right, this was a one night only

The cast of Bells are Ringing where I played Jeff Moss for The Confidential Musical Theatre Project

opportunity. During my preparation for this project, one thing that had become more and more apparent as the night drew close, was that one of the best things I could do was just to be present in the moment, to listen, and to make sure I had my fellow cast members back...just in case any of  us should drop the ball, and you know what, we did. All of us, at one point, dropped the ball, and the audience loved it. We supported each other fully in the process and maintained the integrity of our story telling. It made me aware that although I was playing a lead, I was in fact, a member of a greater ensemble. I had realized that through this project I had been given a gift. I was able to step on that stage, sing beautifully written music, in a beautifully crafted show, with truly talented actors, for a sold out house. I even got to improvise a dance break in one of my numbers. What more could any actor ask for. It was truly an experience that I would not trade, and one that I recommend to any actor given the opportunity.

I saw this the other day on facebook and found it inspiring

Like everyone else who pursues an artistic life, I do question the choices I made and am continuing to make. Like everyone else, money, relationships, and lifestyle are important. At times I think that perhaps this may be the time to pursue something more secure and what most would consider to be a more normal existence. But really, normal is highly over rated and who wants to just exist. My reality is such that I want to live a life that is full and rich. I want to have cool life experiences and I want to continue to live with the enthusiasm of someone who is just starting out. Yes, there are bumps in the road, and no one gets through life unscathed. That's a given. But knowing that as a reality, makes the argument for living your life fully, and with passion, that much more important.
One of the things that has become very apparent in my life is that finding the time to train in my field, to continue to take risks, and to keep growing as an artist, is directly connected to my vitality and well being. Although I often must conscientiously set aside time to do this, it is time that is well spent. I find that for me personally, if I don't feel like I'm active in my artistic life, a part of me feels incomplete. So yes, I'm having to juggle and at times I do have a lot on my plate, but at the end of the day, I'm grateful for living a life that means something to me.
I encourage all of you to go out and do something that moves you. Take a risk, try something new, or simply do something you love for the shear joy of it. If you don't have the time, find it or...just learn how to juggle. I guarantee it will make that busy life we all seem to lead far less busy and
that much more rewarding.
Yours Truly Stephen Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who also sings and acts), in Toronto