Learning to be Grateful...Still

This past Sunday morning, as I woke with the sun streaming through my bedroom window, my very first thought of the day was "I need to be more grateful." Admittedly, this thought caught me totally off guard...I mean come on...everyone's aware that I carry with me, the persona of that upbeat, driven, positive person, who's been extremely grateful for all of my "very cool" life experiences. It also caught me off guard as my first thought of the day usually has something to do with coffee or urination...sometimes both.
Now given the news of the past week, be it political, tragic, or the culmination of both those things, I am an extremely grateful human being. For the most part, I do take a moment out every day to be extremely thankful for the very interesting life I've led and will continue to lead. I feel blessed that I have a passion, that I've been able to maintain a career in the arts in Canada, that I have great friends, a wonderful partner, that I've been able to travel extensively, that I had a relationship with my pet Cat, Miss Celi, for almost twenty two years before she passed, hell...I'm even grateful when transit is on time. Bottom line...I do not take things for granted. So what was it that made me wake that day with the need to be grateful?  It was then I realized this; I am continually looking for my "next cool experience" which usually has something to do with work or travel. In fact, I can fixate on it. Now in my opinion, there isn't much wrong with having this kind of drive or desire except for one simple thing...rarely do I take time to celebrate my accomplishments. It seems that lately, I have become that person who is rarely satisfied with what I've been given. Now, when I'm in the moment, I am extremely grateful, but as soon as that moment is done...I'm on to the next, continually "putting it out there" that I need something "really wonderful" to happen for me, that I need and want my next "great adventure." It was then I realized that in the past few weeks alone, I have had a lot of amazing life experiences, and maybe just for a moment...a few minutes even, I can stop, take pride, and be thankful for them...and I'm only talking about the last few weeks.

Backstage at for The Irving Berlin Evening at The Toronto Centre for the Arts

So I did it. I made a list in my mind of all the things I was grateful for, all of my "cool life experiences" in the past few weeks. I was surprised at the amount of great things that had happened. Between being taken on a cruise, having my choreography on stage at The Toronto Centre of the Arts, (being performed for a sold out house for a benefit for The Harold Green Jewish Theatre), having the students of Sheridan College execute the work with as much presicion and panache as any professional I know, having a much needed, wonderful assistant for this process, booking an industrial, booking some extra teaching for George Brown College, asked to come and guest teach at another studio, the list seemed endless. It was at this moment I thought that at times, I need to step back, relax, and just enjoy.

Another cast picture backstage for The Irving Berlin Night. They were truly wonderful

Now as I said, I do enjoy and am grateful in the moment, but once the moment is gone, I'm on to the next. Make no mistake, I don't think that's an entirely bad way of being. After all, this business breeds that kind of mentality. We're all aware of the expression "You are only as good as your last job." Well, there is a lot of truth to that expression as far as the entertainment business is concerned. It's also smart not to rest on your laurels. I've always been of the mind that complacency, halts growth, and can be the beginning of one's demise as an artist. Yet at the same time, I realized that in my never ending quest for all things wonderful, interesting, and down right cool, maybe I can relax just a little bit each day, and celebrate the fact that although I don't have everything I've ever wanted, and haven't done everything I want to do, things are actually pretty great...and there's still time!                                                                          

In writing this blog, I have come to a few realizations one of them being this; As an artist, none of us are only as "good as our last job." Think about it,  not only artistically, but on a purely human level, we all have something of great value yet to be offered. So yes, strive to do your personal best, don't become complacent, stay aware, stay interested, stay interesting, but maybe every once in a while, take some time out to be grateful and I will do the same.

Sincerely Stephen Scott Findlay

A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto

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