Life After Mary and Re Learning How to Juggle

Well..I'm back...and after a four month absence, I've finally sat down to write my first blog post of 2015. Now there are a couple reasons for my absence, one, I've been vacillating on what to write about next, and two, I've been busy. That's right, busy.
 I've been thinking a lot about being busy lately. There's definitely good busy, and then there's being so busy, that it can take away from life and it's enjoyment. I'm unsure why, but in this day and age, we seem to wear our busy schedules like a badge of honour. Think about it, often when asking someone how they are doing, more often than not, they'll ramble on about how they're juggling three jobs, a home life, and whatever extra curricular activity they may be pursuing at any given moment. They relay this information with great pride, almost as if they should be given a special award for the ability to maintain their busy lifestyle. Then we have the other end of the spectrum, you know, those times in our lives when we're not very busy at all. For some reason, we as a society have come to be embarrassed by this fact. I find that in the business of Art/Theatre/Entertainment, we become even more embarrassed by this  because usually being "not busy" means we are not working. I don't know about you, but in the past, I used to feel my self worth as an artist, was directly related to the jobs I was being cast in. It took me a long time to realize that not to be true. In fact, at times, being "not busy" means I have more time to train, connect with people I love, take on new and exciting projects, or, even being in a show.
Allow me to explain that last statement. I had an amazing season last year with Mary Poppins. I was able to perform in two different productions, in three wonderful theatres. There are many things I loved about last season...working with wonderful, giving artists, travelling and living in different places, being given the opportunity to perform multiple roles, the list is abundant and real. One of the things I loved most, is that once the show was up and running, my schedule was normal. That's right, normal. I had one job, a lot of leisure time, and I loved it. I was able to spend a lot of time at the gym, re-connecting with friends and family, and honestly, just enjoying my life. It was great!

As Northbrook in Mary Poppins backstage at The Capitol Theatre in Port Hope

Towards the end of the run in Port Hope, with not a lot of work lined up, I thought to myself, "I just want to be really busy." Well...I got my wish. The week before our run in Port Hope was about to finish, the only work I had lined up was teaching one class a week at Metro Movement, and I was nervous about not having enough work to sustain me. As luck would have it, Sheridan College found themselves in need of a jazz teacher, and once again I was hired. It was a relief. If nothing else, my mortgage was covered. Upon my arrival home, I also managed to book a lot of catering shifts, and from there, the ball just kept rolling. In October I started working part time at The Four Season's Centre for the Arts, (a job that I have become quite fond of), and although every situation is not ideal, I felt that indeed I had been looked after. Now, I have never been one to shy away from hard work, but my greatest challenge of late has been finding balance in my life. At present I'm juggling four jobs, to make up for one. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining, I'm just re learning how to juggle. I've had to become more aware of what's important and what warrants my time the most. Many would think that spending time to write this blog may in fact be a waste of time for someone so busy. Well, on the contrary,  for me, I find it very rewarding. Just like I find going to a dance class or vocal class very rewarding. In my life , these are the things that are still important.

One of my greatest joys in this past four months was being cast in The Confidential Musical Theatre Project. (I know...as if I didn't have enough on my plate). The Confidential Musical Theatre Project is the Brain Child of Marion Abott Piccin and Rob Corbett. For those of you who don't know, the concept is this: Producers cast a show and send you the script and score. You learn the music and familiarize yourself with the part you've been cast in, but never rehearse with the other actors. Then on the night of the show, you meet the cast, (for the first time), an hour and a half before the show, and perform, script in hand on a bare bones stage, for an audience that does not know what show they're about to see. There's no safety net, you have no idea how the other actors are going to respond, and there's no going back... It's terrifying and invigorating at the same time. I can honestly tell you that I had never felt more alive and more present on stage than I had on that night. When I was first approached about doing this project, I jumped at the opportunity. I did not ask what the show was, or what part I'd been playing, I just said yes. I had heard about the companies past two shows, and my short background at Second City had made me very excited to work on a project of this nature. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been cast as the leading man. I was flattered, surprised, and kind of scared. This would be my first time doing a lead in a musical and there were sure to be expectations, and if I'm totally honest, judgement. I could just hear it..."Stephen Findlay, the dancer, doing a lead in a musical...how did that happen? Can he even sing?"  But once I got over myself, (realizing that the voices of judgement and fear were for the most part mine), as well as the initial shock and fear of the producers casting decision, I got to work...which didn't feel like work at all. I learnt the music, and dove in to the script to see if I could figure out who this person was. Not having the benefit of a director, I truly had to trust my gut on whatever choices I made, knowing that I'd never have the opportunity to re visit or re think these choices again. That's right, this was a one night only

The cast of Bells are Ringing where I played Jeff Moss for The Confidential Musical Theatre Project

opportunity. During my preparation for this project, one thing that had become more and more apparent as the night drew close, was that one of the best things I could do was just to be present in the moment, to listen, and to make sure I had my fellow cast members back...just in case any of  us should drop the ball, and you know what, we did. All of us, at one point, dropped the ball, and the audience loved it. We supported each other fully in the process and maintained the integrity of our story telling. It made me aware that although I was playing a lead, I was in fact, a member of a greater ensemble. I had realized that through this project I had been given a gift. I was able to step on that stage, sing beautifully written music, in a beautifully crafted show, with truly talented actors, for a sold out house. I even got to improvise a dance break in one of my numbers. What more could any actor ask for. It was truly an experience that I would not trade, and one that I recommend to any actor given the opportunity.

I saw this the other day on facebook and found it inspiring

Like everyone else who pursues an artistic life, I do question the choices I made and am continuing to make. Like everyone else, money, relationships, and lifestyle are important. At times I think that perhaps this may be the time to pursue something more secure and what most would consider to be a more normal existence. But really, normal is highly over rated and who wants to just exist. My reality is such that I want to live a life that is full and rich. I want to have cool life experiences and I want to continue to live with the enthusiasm of someone who is just starting out. Yes, there are bumps in the road, and no one gets through life unscathed. That's a given. But knowing that as a reality, makes the argument for living your life fully, and with passion, that much more important.
One of the things that has become very apparent in my life is that finding the time to train in my field, to continue to take risks, and to keep growing as an artist, is directly connected to my vitality and well being. Although I often must conscientiously set aside time to do this, it is time that is well spent. I find that for me personally, if I don't feel like I'm active in my artistic life, a part of me feels incomplete. So yes, I'm having to juggle and at times I do have a lot on my plate, but at the end of the day, I'm grateful for living a life that means something to me.
I encourage all of you to go out and do something that moves you. Take a risk, try something new, or simply do something you love for the shear joy of it. If you don't have the time, find it or...just learn how to juggle. I guarantee it will make that busy life we all seem to lead far less busy and
that much more rewarding.
Yours Truly Stephen Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who also sings and acts), in Toronto

Coming Full Circle and Dancing In My Fifties, Thank You Mary Poppins, It Was a Hell of a Ride

For a lot of you who have read my blog with any kind of consistency, you will have noticed that I have been absent from this medium for quite some time. There is a reason for that. You see I had a goal, and I wanted my next blog post to reflect my attaining that goal. Now for some who are close to me, I probably had told you this, but it was not a goal that I had announced to the world. My goal was simple, to be able to dance well, and hard, with a good command of technique that I had trained very hard to acquire, as a fifty year old. My preference was to be able to do this on stage, as well as the studio, and to be able to dance side by side, keeping up with any twenty something, or thirty something, that I happened to be sharing the space with. Well, I'm happy to say, I did it. I reached that goal and then some. Now this may sound like a vanity project, and in some ways it was. But on the other side of the coin, I've always had that competitive nature with myself, and had always felt that for as long as I'm going to dance, I'm going to do it to the very best of my abilities.

Citadel Theatre Step In Time with Keith Savage, Joseph, and Stephen Findlay

I feel extremely grateful that on my fiftieth birthday, I was able to dance and sing in a beautifully crafted production of Mary Poppins, along side of some of the most wonderful talent this country has to offer, at the Citadel Theatre in Edmonton Alberta. To a degree, I feel as if it was almost serendipitous to do so. You see, I got the bulk of my training in Edmonton. I have strong roots there as far as my ballet and jazz training goes, and in fact had my very first professional job there and and it was there, that Ihad started my teaching career. When I left, twenty five years previous, I had never done musical theatre. It felt great to be able to return and re connect with my past and with many of those who were responsible for helping me get to where I am today.

After our initial run in Edmonton, we moved to another wonderful theatre, Theatre Calgary. It was in Calgary, a place I had also lived for a short time, that I was able to spend a lot of time with my sister, and re connect with my brother. For reasons I will not go in to, my brother and I had been estranged for approximately twenty five years. That was the greatest gift of all, being able to re connect, and to have my brother see me on stage, for the very first time, as an adult.

When auditions first came up for this production, my only real hope was that if I was to get an audition, that they'd look at me for my ability, and what I could bring to the stage, not my age and the ever greying hair I've earned along the way. To be fair,  certain productions do warrant your typical twenty/thirty something chorus dancers, and many directors and choreographers in this business have a hard time wrapping their heads around a fifty year old dancer, mostly because there aren't a lot of us, especially in Canada.  Lucky for me, this was not the case. I had the good fortune to work with both a director, (Michael Shamata), and a choreographer, (Lisa Stevens), who were open, generous, and non judgemental when it came to age and what this production required. In fact, judging from our cast, I'd venture to say, that they welcomed the diversity. We were definitely an all ages, all sizes cast, and what that did was make the production that much more interesting. Trust me when I tell you, when we stepped on that stage for "Step In Time", (which is the big dance feature in act two), you just felt that something wonderful was about to happen...and it did.

Upon completion of this run, I then had the good fortune to be a member of another company of Mary Poppins in beautiful Port Hope. This was a very different experience from the previous company, but no less rewarding. In fact, the rewards for me personally were abundant. There's something very special about being able to perform in a very intimate space. Once again, our cast, crew and creative team was diverse, interesting, and generous to a fault. I felt especially fortunate as I was cast in a couple of small featured roles, for this production. I've always felt it an honour to dance in any ensemble, but being able to branch out these last two years, (first with Oliver and then with Mary Poppins), being given the opportunity to act in a few featured character roles,  has been a most welcome challenge. Coincidentally, Mary Poppins proved to be the most successful show for the Port Hope Festival Theatre in eleven years.

As Northbrook Port Hope Festival Theatre

I've been working in this industry now for thirty one years. In that time, I've heard it all...you're too wholesome, too fit, too pretty to be funny, you need to watch your weight, you're a wonderful dancer, you're not the choreographer's vision, you're pitchy, you have a beautiful voice, you dance with explosive energy, you're too old, you'll never be a ballet dancer because of your feet, (maybe consider getting them broken,but they may not heal well), you're a wonderful performer,
you're inspiring, and of course my all time favourite "I hope I dance as well as you do when I'm your age." That one always makes me smile. You see, there's no secret to what I do. Yes, I do have a certain amount of talent, but really, I just work very hard. Trust me when I tell you, dancing at this age, I need to not only keep working hard, but I must work smarter. I can't execute everything like I could when I was in my twenties and thirties, but I can still keep up with the best of them. That's because I've learnt to dance smart.
If you stay in this industry for as long as I have, there will be absolutes that you can definitely count on. Here are just a few of those things;
1-You will get injured
2-Your physicality will matter. Whether you're an ensemble dancer or character actor, it will come in to play.
4- Looks matter. So look after yourself.
3- People will form strong opinions of what your abilities are. If you want to change those opinions, that's you're responsibility.
5-You will have fantastic auditions and not book the job.
6- You will have horrible auditions, (they're usually never as bad as you perceive them to be), and you will book the job.
7-It's not all about your talent. Type does come in to play.
8-No matter how "right" you may feel you are for a role, there are twenty other people in that audition who feel the same way.
9-Casting is out of your control.
10- Being kind matters. Being known as a good company member can go a long way.
11- You will work with amazingly talented people. Learn everything you can from them.
12-You will work with difficult, unkind, whiny people. Do not get caught up in their drama. It will only bring you down.
13-Nepotism does exist in our business, so foster good, solid relationships.
14-You will be told you're too something... too old, young, wholesome, preppy, pretty, muscular, heavy, thin, tall, short, pitchy, loud, shy, obnoxious, aggressive, sexy...pick an adjective, any adjective...From this list alone, I've been told four of these things. Take the note, be honest with yourself as to whether it applies, and if need be, adjust.
15- You will work with wonderfully talented people, in beautifully crafted productions, that prove to be extremely artistically satisfying.
16-You will work in dinner theatre. Get over it. Once you let go of ego, you're going to have a blast.
17-You will work a "Joe Job", be it Starbucks, Lulu Lemon, catering, the list is endless. During this time, you'll be wishing you were back working in Dinner Theatre again.
18-Summer stock, much like summer camp, will be some of the best times you'll ever spend in the theatre.
19-Every time a contract finishes, you'll wonder if you'll ever work again.
20-You will question your chosen career, multiple times throughout your life.
21-You will meet some of the most interesting, generous, and brilliantly talented people, who are just everyday, working artists, like yourself.
I could go on, but I think if you've had the tenacity to read this far, you get the idea.

This is what fifty looks like after doing Step In Time, eight times a week, for four months

Oddly enough, somehow, when I first heard of the Mary Poppins auditions for The Citadel/Theatre Calgary, I knew I was going to book it, even before I went in to the room. I just had this feeling that it was meant to be...that for reasons unknown to me then, I was supposed to go back and do these shows. It all makes perfect sense to me now, and this part of my career has most certainly come full circle. So...what's next, what's the next goal? I can honestly say, I'm not sure. I guess, for right now, to just keep going. Ten years ago I had retired from musical theatre, four years later I was back on stage with Mirvish Productions' The Sound of Music. From there I thought my natural progression was to dance captain and choreograph. Well, I have in fact done both those things, but have also continued to train and perform. If anyone would have told me twenty years ago that I'd be dancing at fifty, I would have said you were out of your mind, nuts, totally off your rocker. Yet here I am, in my fifty first year of life, not only dancing, but singing and acting as well. So for now, I guess my goal is to just keep going, to keep training, and to see what the next ten years brings my way. One thing that has changed for sure, is that every job I get offered, no matter how big or small, I am extremely grateful. This is a hard business, and given my age, and my particular strengths, I am a very specific hire, so I take no job for granted.

So I want to thank all of you...my teachers, students, colleagues, directors, choreographers, musical directors, agents, employers, and mentors, all of you have played a part in this very cool, interesting life I've been able to lead. To be totally honest, this was not the life I had planned for myself. At eighteen I was going to dance in Les Grand Ballet Canadien, and at twenty two, all I wanted to do was dance for Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. Well, needless to say, those things didn't happen, but I've had many other very cool experiences. You know what they say, If you want to make God laugh, go ahead and plan your life. So who cares if life doesn't turn out as exactly as planned...sometimes, it's even better!
Yours Truly Stephen Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto

Debunking the myths that are "Old School"...It's Time to Set the Record Straight

I love young talent. I do. I find it inspiring to watch young artists at work regardless of what area they excel in. As someone who has adjudicated countless dance competitions, I also find it very exciting to watch young, up and coming choreographers present their work. I can say without hesitation that I've had the privilege of seeing some of the most awe inspiring work presented across this country by numerous choreographers, many of which that with any luck, we may all hear about in the future.

But as much as I'm inspired by young talent, I've found myself lately being fascinated with the great teachers, dancers, and choreographers of the past. The people if you will, who have paved the way for dancers today. We are so fortunate to have at our disposal, the internet and the avail of channels like you tube. They have provided me not only with entertainment, but knowledge of the past, and a glimpse in to the future. Most recently I have been fascinated by a set of interviews on YouTube with some of

A Chorus Line Finale

the original Fosse dancers. To hear them talk with such affection about what it was like to work with Fosse when he first started to choreograph for the Broadway stage is riveting. I've also had an affection for the musical A Chorus Line, (and respectively, the documentary titled Every Little Step, which follows the casting process for the Broadway revival),  ever since I was a young boy. It was the very first musical I had ever seen live, and I remember sitting in the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Vancouver being awe struck with what was happening on the stage. That show was truly a game changer for me, and as far as I was concerned, I was going to become a dancer no matter what!

Most recently, when speaking with a colleague, she had told me that some of her students had told her that they weren't really that keen on jazz any more as it's "Old School." Now, being the solid, grounded teacher that she is, she informed them without hesitation, that what they are doing in class is relevant, no matter what the popular opinion of the day may be. To me, that says that that particular teacher is solid in their resolve to make sure her students get an all around dance education....something that at times, seems to have slipped by the wayside.

Yours truly as a young dancer/teacher teaching in the 80's

CRJ...An Unlikely Inspiration

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be writing the next sentence you are about to read, I would have told you that you were crazy, insane, totally off your rocker...

Well... here it is. The inspiration for this latest blog post is none other than pop songstress Carly Rae Jepsen, (who from here on in will be refered to as CRJ). That's right the one and only CRJ, who's song Call Me Maybe, made her an international pop sensation. Before I go on, let me preface what I'm about to write by telling you this; I don't know CRJ, nor do I have any real affection for her in any which way. Like most of you, I know her from her pop career, that is all.

Carly Rae Jepsen soon to be making her Broadway Debut

When I turned on my computer this morning, I of course went to my facebook page to see the latest postings and news of the day. Imagine my surprise when I read various posts that CRJ was to assume the role of Cinderella on Broadway.  Now my immediate reaction was not one of disdain, nor did I jump to any conclusions whatsoever. Rather, my first thought was "Great, another Canadian on Broadway!" Now it comes as no surprise that people from the musical theatre community were very split on this casting decision.  In fact, some were down right mad and insulted by it.  I do understand this, and in fact, used to get up in arms about many casting decisions myself.  People of the theatre train, and work very hard to do what we do, and feel protective of the art form. I get that, and respect that. Many felt that the role would be much better served by someone who is not from the pop music world, and that many aspiring ingenues had been short changed by this decision. Many people chimed in with "Thank God I saw Laura Osnes in the role", implying that they were certain that CRJ is undeserving and would not measure up. (Here's a little known fact that many don't realize...Tony nominated, Drama Desk Award winning actor Laura Osnes, first gained notoriety when she was plucked from a reality television series to play the role of Sandi in "Grease" on Broadway. That's right people, Laura Osnes is a product of stunt casting.  Does that make her any less talented...I don't think so).
 Now, if we are being totally honest, the musical theatre community has always been a judgemental one. It's also very easy to jump on the "I hate stunt casting" bandwagon  when it's not our millions of dollars that are being invested to produce these mega shows. However, if I were to put myself in the producers shoes, would I go with the unknown ingenue, who in all likelihood, will not sell tickets to a show whose box office is already suffering, or do I go with the sure thing, the mega star, who for better or for worse, will keep the show open, insuring employment for a whole company of actors, musicians, stage managers, and crew. If I were the "Money" behind the project, the answer would most certainly be the latter of the two choices. ( Coincidentally, CRJ graduated from a theatre school that has produced some pretty wonderful artists...that's right people, CRJ went to theatre school.)

Now, these feelings of resentment are certainly not exclusive to CRJ. In fact I remember not to long ago  that many people were very upset that Ann Hathaway had been cast as Fantine in the film version of Les Miserable. "How could they cast a film actor as Fantine, this clearly is a travesty, a sin of the highest magnitude, this is Les Miserable after all, the holy grail of musicals" When given a sneak peak of her singing "I Dreamed a Dream", many were outraged that she did not have the vocal chops of say a Louise Pitre or Patti Lupone. To be honest, I really loved how she interpreted the song for film. It was honest, raw, and heart wrenching. I'd much rather she make her own choices, than try to imitate and be something that she's not. Obviously, others felt the same, and she went on to win an Oscar. Now in the case of Les Miserables,  the cost of filming something like this far exceeds putting it up on the stage. Like it or not, of course they are going to go with a bankable star. (Or in the case of this musical, star's)

Ann Hathaway as Fantine in the film version of Les Miserable

Most recently, people became down right incensed because Carrie Underwood was to assume the role of Maria from The Sound of Music, for a live television taping. Now collectively, most felt the project was a failure artistically and that she did not do justice to the role made famous by Julie Andrews. But the fact remains, that from a network stand point, this was a huge success, and whether you like it or not, it's a win for theatre as well. Given the fact that her fan base is huge, she managed to introduce countless people to musical theatre who may now pay money to see a live performance.
  Speaking of The Sound of Music, most all of you know, I was in a huge production here in Toronto, who's leading lady was a product of a reality television show. What most of you probably don't know is that because of this reality show, the pre sales for The Sound of Music surpassed those of The Lion King. Now you tell me, when putting up a show that has a start up cost of eleven million dollars, why would you not go this route. It should be noted that many in the theatre community expressed major doubt whether the winner of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria" had the tools to carry a show of this magnitude and some seemed down right hopeful that she would fail.  Well...she hit it out of the park, won a Dora, and continues to work to this day.
It's time we stop pretending that stunt casting is a new phenomenom.  Maybe in the form of reality television casting it's new, but if we are being truthful, it's been around for as long as I can remember. For example, Donny Osmond in Joseph, Paul Stanley from Kiss as the Phantom, Diane Carroll as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard...The list is endless, and it's because of stars such as this, many of these shows stayed open for far longer than they would have otherwise. Make no mistake, the people coming to Joseph were there to see Donny Osmond first, and Joseph a distant second. He was the reason the show ran as long as it did, made the money it did, and employed many, many people for a very long time. Even when talking of medium sized dinner theatre, stunt casting has been the norm for a very long time. Look at Stage West for example, they built that company on bringing in sitcom actors from the seventies on, to star in their productions. It was a gimmick and it worked. To this day I maintain that "Bell Bottom Fever starring Billy Huffsey from Fame" was by far,  the worst shows as far as the book was concerned, that I ever did. But the music and dancing were great, the audience loved it, and it employed me for six months.
Instead of jumping on the "I can't believe they cast CRJ as Cinderella" band wagon, maybe we can give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, she might do a great job, bring in a new audience to see live theatre, who otherwise might not have any interest, and more than likely keep a wonderful show open that employs many people, for a few months longer. (I believe at present Cinderella's box office is at fifty three percent.) Not to mention she's Canadian! That alone deserves our support.
 It seems to me, that there also seems to be a bit of a double standard going on. I truly believe, that if the tables were turned and "one of our own" from the theatre were to become a huge pop sensation, I can say with much confidence that we'd all have no problem in celebrating that success. When a star of the theatre crosses over in to film or television we seem to take great collective pride in that accomplishment, and rightfully so. So why is it, that we become so territorial when it comes to the reverse? Not just with pop stars, but with film actors too. Have we become that insecure that we are unable to welcome a fellow artist from another area, in to our world. It's my understanding that the writers of "Book of Mormon" were the recipients of the same cold shoulder when they were making their first foray in to the Broadway scene...and we all know how that story goes.

Denis O'Hare
Tony Award Winning actor who's also enjoyed major success in film and television. Also, one of the kindest, most humble, generous actors I ever had the pleasure of working with.

In general, I think that as an artistic community, we need to start supporting our colleagues be it actors, directors, choreographers, designers, whomever, and perhaps
start being just a little more generous when it comes to judgement of work that has yet to be realized. As I said, I too have been guilty of this type of judgement, mostly in my younger days, and sometimes I felt my suspicions were correct. But more often than not, in witnessing the end product, I was proven wrong. Now when I feel that casting may be questionable, I always give the benefit of the doubt and instead become curious of a vision that differs from my own.
Up to this point, the artists I've been referencing in this post are obviously very famous. But we tend to be like this with the not so famous, every day working artist also. We need to stop assuming that just because someone was maybe a dancer first, that there is no concievable way that this person could ever direct a straight play, or that just because someone was a musical theatre actor first, there is no chance that this person could ever become a classical actor, or that someone who is amazing on film couldn't possibly be stage worthy. It's wrong and just limits us as a whole. Let's face it, we already have too many people deciding what we can or can't do. It seems to me that when we do it to each other, we are creating an even greater travesty when it comes to artistic growth and the business of theatre.
So how about this, whether you agree or disagree, why not throw some support your colleague's way. Instead of being judgemental, become curious. Instead of being resentful, become supportive. If something doesn't resonate with you, be open enough to discover why it does with others.  In the long run it will just make our community stronger, more united, and dare I say make all of us more successful both as artists and human beings. One of the most inspiring artists I've ever come across is Multi Media Artist, Phil Hansen. He has a wonderful Ted Talk entitled "Embrace The Shake" in which he states "We first need to be limited, in order to become limitless." What a wonderful philosophy! I encourage all of you to go to youtube and watch his Ted Talk.  He's gifted, generous, and awe inspiring.

Remember this...nobody gets through life unscathed, everyone is fighting a battle, and when it comes to art and artists, there's room for everybody.

Sincerely Yours Stephen Scott Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto

                                                                                     Stephen Findlay

Learning to be Grateful...Still

This past Sunday morning, as I woke with the sun streaming through my bedroom window, my very first thought of the day was "I need to be more grateful." Admittedly, this thought caught me totally off guard...I mean come on...everyone's aware that I carry with me, the persona of that upbeat, driven, positive person, who's been extremely grateful for all of my "very cool" life experiences. It also caught me off guard as my first thought of the day usually has something to do with coffee or urination...sometimes both.
Now given the news of the past week, be it political, tragic, or the culmination of both those things, I am an extremely grateful human being. For the most part, I do take a moment out every day to be extremely thankful for the very interesting life I've led and will continue to lead. I feel blessed that I have a passion, that I've been able to maintain a career in the arts in Canada, that I have great friends, a wonderful partner, that I've been able to travel extensively, that I had a relationship with my pet Cat, Miss Celi, for almost twenty two years before she passed, hell...I'm even grateful when transit is on time. Bottom line...I do not take things for granted. So what was it that made me wake that day with the need to be grateful?  It was then I realized this; I am continually looking for my "next cool experience" which usually has something to do with work or travel. In fact, I can fixate on it. Now in my opinion, there isn't much wrong with having this kind of drive or desire except for one simple thing...rarely do I take time to celebrate my accomplishments. It seems that lately, I have become that person who is rarely satisfied with what I've been given. Now, when I'm in the moment, I am extremely grateful, but as soon as that moment is done...I'm on to the next, continually "putting it out there" that I need something "really wonderful" to happen for me, that I need and want my next "great adventure." It was then I realized that in the past few weeks alone, I have had a lot of amazing life experiences, and maybe just for a moment...a few minutes even, I can stop, take pride, and be thankful for them...and I'm only talking about the last few weeks.

Backstage at for The Irving Berlin Evening at The Toronto Centre for the Arts

So I did it. I made a list in my mind of all the things I was grateful for, all of my "cool life experiences" in the past few weeks. I was surprised at the amount of great things that had happened. Between being taken on a cruise, having my choreography on stage at The Toronto Centre of the Arts, (being performed for a sold out house for a benefit for The Harold Green Jewish Theatre), having the students of Sheridan College execute the work with as much presicion and panache as any professional I know, having a much needed, wonderful assistant for this process, booking an industrial, booking some extra teaching for George Brown College, asked to come and guest teach at another studio, the list seemed endless. It was at this moment I thought that at times, I need to step back, relax, and just enjoy.

Another cast picture backstage for The Irving Berlin Night. They were truly wonderful

Now as I said, I do enjoy and am grateful in the moment, but once the moment is gone, I'm on to the next. Make no mistake, I don't think that's an entirely bad way of being. After all, this business breeds that kind of mentality. We're all aware of the expression "You are only as good as your last job." Well, there is a lot of truth to that expression as far as the entertainment business is concerned. It's also smart not to rest on your laurels. I've always been of the mind that complacency, halts growth, and can be the beginning of one's demise as an artist. Yet at the same time, I realized that in my never ending quest for all things wonderful, interesting, and down right cool, maybe I can relax just a little bit each day, and celebrate the fact that although I don't have everything I've ever wanted, and haven't done everything I want to do, things are actually pretty great...and there's still time!                                                                          

In writing this blog, I have come to a few realizations one of them being this; As an artist, none of us are only as "good as our last job." Think about it,  not only artistically, but on a purely human level, we all have something of great value yet to be offered. So yes, strive to do your personal best, don't become complacent, stay aware, stay interested, stay interesting, but maybe every once in a while, take some time out to be grateful and I will do the same.

Sincerely Stephen Scott Findlay

A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto

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Humility, Humanity, and other Life Lessons

You know, most people say to me "You are always so up beat and positive. I never see you in a bad mood." Well know this, because I am human, and like everyone else, incredibly flawed, my bad moods do exist and come in varying degrees of temperament.  If you don't believe me, I can present a few choice individuals who will gladly back up this claim. I guess I've just become quite good at not bringing it in to my work place and when I enter a dance studio, things change and my mood becomes considerably brighter. But rest assured, I can be as cranky as the next person.
Now, my mantra for this week, which I've had to revisit no less than a hundred times is this; "I am a highly skilled individual." In fact, I'm saying it to myself as I write. Ha!

My early years as a ballet dancer in rehearsal with Ballet North

Before I go on, I'll let you in on a little secret...I do not posses a lot of formal education. It's not really something I'm embarrassed about or proud of, it's just fact. You see, growing up, my background was very typical of many from my generation. My father was an alcoholic, ruined his career, and my parents divorced. My mother worked extremely hard to keep our family afloat, and to her credit, I never once felt like I was missing out on anything. I knew from a very young age that if I was to make anything of myself, it was going to be as a dancer. Although I was pretty good in school, I knew my future was not to be one of academics. (Somehow I know my mother felt the same and was always very supportive. Also, my father, in his later years, had had a lot of regret, one of which he was never able to tell me how proud he was of me and what I had achieved. When he died, I was sent a box of newspaper clippings and memorabilia which he had saved throughout my career. He may have had his short comings, but deep down, he was innately good.) At seventeen I was accepted into a professional program in a ballet school, in a city, three hours from where we lived. Fantastic! However, given that  there was very little money to send me away, I had decided to leave school and work so that I could train in what I was meant to do. That's right, at seventeen years of age, I held down a job, an apartment and went to ballet school five days a week. Now, even though this has worked out for me, I do not recommend it for others. Simply put, it was the hand I was dealt. I took a risk, and it payed off. Having said all this, I am highly educated in what I do. I have had the good fortune to train with some of the best teachers in Canada as well as the U.S.A. I have worked in many major centres in North America, and have had a career in dance that has been more diverse than most people in the industry today. I also continue to educate myself in this industry as much as time and finances allow. All in all, it's been a good ride, and I don't regret the choices I made.

Let's get to the point of this post shall we. I've always known that as an artist, that things will always be up and down and that quite often you'll be forced to take on other work to pay the bills. I am certainly no exception to this rule, or rather, this way of life. I've usually been really good about it, in fact, in the past, I've even had a lot of fun and have met incredibly interesting people in all my "Joe Jobs." So why the sudden change last week? Now I'm not sure if it's my impending fiftieth birthday that's right around the corner, or if my slightly impatient nature was rearing it's ugly head, but all the while, as I was hanging up coats as guests were arriving at this function I was catering at,  I had to keep saying to myself over and over, "I am a highly skilled individual." The next night, while working yet another catering event, the same thing... While the people who were trying to make the event run as smoothly as possible were getting all up in arms about the most minute, unimportant, details, I kept having to remind myself, " I am a highly skilled individual." Sadly, the night that followed, another catering event, the exact same thing with one exception...the tension at this event was so thick, you'd need a chainsaw to cut through it. In all my years, I had never experienced a choice group of individuals so wound up about something that should be of very little stress, it was mind blowing. Once again, in the midst of serving chicken and beef, while tempers flared, and voices became raised yelling "I need those brownies out on the tables NOW!", I kept saying over and over to myself "I am a highly skilled individual."

Now society, as we know it, has become of the collective mind and thought, that experiences such as the ones described above are all put in to motion to teach us something. That experiences such as the ones above, are really just life lessons disguised as obstacles to help us grow as spiritual beings. I too, am usually of this mind set. But given my mood while all of this was happening, I kept thinking "What in the, F#*K am I supposed to learn from all of this?" (I am a highly skilled individual.) Well, to be truthful...I don't know yet. I'm sure it will all make sense one day, but as of now, whatever the bigger picture is supposed to be, has yet to be revealed. That is, if there is a bigger picture... Who knows.

One thing I know for sure is this; life, as we know it, has a way of stepping in and keeping us humble when needed. When we  get slightly pompous about what we do, who we are, or what position we may hold, we can all benefit from a little humility.
Life has also taught me that no matter what position you are in, professionally or personally, it's always a good thing to keep our humanity in check. I have been in a position of power a number of times in my life and have always felt it was of the utmost importance to treat all individuals with dignity, kindness, and respect. So, if nothing else, last week was a good reminder of all those things.

I was able to make it back to dance class today. (Thank God!) One thing that was confirmed for me this morning was this; When I'm in the studio, whether I'm dancing, teaching, choreographing, or even just watching, that's when I'm at my very best. With fifty fast approaching, I have had this goal of wanting not only to be dancing at this ripe old age as far as this profession is concerned, but dancing well and dancing hard. It is without a doubt that I am going to achieve this, and in fact will spend my fiftieth birthday on stage. For that, I am extremely grateful.  However, looming in the back of my mind is the thought that my current state of dancing well and hard, will not last forever. (I am a highly skilled individual.) Make no mistake, fifty is old for a dancer and I am certainly the exception, not the rule. I can't help but think I'm being prepared for whatever the next step in this crazy, nutty, journey may be. At least, that's what I'm putting out there and that's what I'm hoping for. "I am a highly skilled individual."

Backstage during Oliver this past summer

So...is there a big lesson here or not? I don't know...the jury is still out on this one. I guess both humanity and humility are great lessons regardless of size, and that no matter what, there will always be opportunities, disguised as obstacles to keep us on track.

So...enjoy the week, and now that I have officially removed my "Cranky Pants", I will endeavour to do the same.

Sincerely Yours- Stephen Scott Findlay

A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto.

It's A Competitive Industry

It is with out a doubt, that upon reading the title of this recent post, you thought to yourself "No Kidding...this is OLD NEWS!" Well,  what if I were to put forth to you, the idea, that there is no such thing as competition within the dance/theatre/television industry. Have I peaked your interest yet? I mean, after all, how can this be. Whenever we go to any type of audition there can be numerous people in for the initial screenings. Even when you get to the final callbacks, you may still be up against numerous people for that illustrious job that we're all chomping at the bit for. So how is it possible that in an industry such as this, that we would not be in competition with our colleagues. It's simple really, in my opinion, competition within the industry should be viewed as something within yourself. When it comes to work that is artistic at it's core, I truly don't believe competition really factors in.

A good friend of mine turned me on to this thought process years ago. I'll never forget what he said. First off let me preface his words to me by telling you that I, by nature, am extremely competitive. I used to consider everyone in the audition room my competition. Now I consider no one in the room my competition. Upon discussing an audition with him that I was up for, I was telling him who the other contenders for the same show were. I distinctly remember saying to him that I considered a handful of other dancers serious competition. He then said to me " You know, I don't believe in competition. We all have something unique to offer. You are who you are, and they are who they are. If the people in charge of hiring want what you have to offer, they're going to hire you. Nobody beats you out for a job, you book it because you're right for it. It's as simple as that."
 That was probably over fifteen years ago, and those words have stuck with me ever since.

Getting ready for the Flashmob

Now don't get me wrong, there are times when I forget that way of thinking myself. But at it's core, there is a lot of truth in that statement. Think about it. Whenever you hear of someone getting any kind of  job, it usually never comes up that they beat out their competition, but more to the fact that they had what the creative team wanted. Lets face it, sometimes the creative team doesn't know what they want. They may have an idea, but it may not become clear until it's presented to them in the audition room.

Now drawing from my own personal experience, let me share with you a couple of examples.
 I was recently hired to film a flash mob for a television series. When I went to rehearsal there were numerous people there. All different shapes, sizes, ethnicities...you name it. I looked around for anybody that had any similarities to myself. Other than the fact that there were other men there, there were none who shared what I had to offer as a whole. I was the only older, salt and pepper haired dancer guy in the bunch. I had a similar experience when I was hired to shoot a Best Buy commercial a couple years ago. I was told without hesitation that I was there "Dad type." I didn't see one other person at that audition who I considered to be like myself, in any regard.

On set shooting a Best Buy Commercial with Sean Cheesman

Many of you will remember when I was teaching all the audition material for The Wizard of Oz here in Toronto. Now it was taken for granted by most, that I was going to be in the show as their swing dance captain. To a degree, I even took it for granted that the likelihood of that happening was more than great. After all, it was the exact same creative team that I had worked with on The Sound of Music, I was now more than familiar with the dance material, and had proven myself more than capable. I was a shoe in right...wrong. It was decided before the creative team arrived in Toronto that they would not be using children as Munchkins. That instead, for logistical reasons, the ensemble would act as the Munchkins, there-for many dancers needed to be smaller in stature. They felt I was not right to cover any of the key characters and in the end I was too tall and didn't tumble. I received a lovely email from the choreographer outlining all of this. I was told that it was preferable that the swings be smaller so that they could swing both the shorter tracks and the taller tracks, and that atleast one had to tumble. It wasn't personal, I wasn't in competition with anyone else, it was just plain and simple logisitics. I couldn't offer what they needed. Don't get me wrong, that was a hard pill to swallow, but I totally understood.
(On a side note to that particular story, I was invited to the first dress rehearsal of the production and truly wondered after investing so much of myself in to that audition process, how I'd feel watching it. Would I be bitter, angry, jealous, all of the above...Well I'm happy to report that all I felt was happiness for everyone involved. I felt that the casting was appropriate and that everyone was wonderful. In fact, I agreed that I really didn't fit the three key characters who travel through Oz with Dorothy, as far as covering was concerned, and I really didn't see myself within that ensemble. I also was happy with the fact that I was a better person than what I had given myself credit. In some ways, I had evolved.)

Often times when you hear a director being interviewed regarding a particular actor being cast in a production they'll say "When they walked in to the room, there was really no one else for the part."
I remember a great story regarding Stephen Spielberg's casting of Oprah Winfrey in the Color Purple. He saw her hosting a talk show on television and said "That's my Sophia." It was simple as that. At that time Oprah had never even done a movie. In fact, I don't think she had ever acted. There are many stories out there such as this and I have no doubt, you've probably heard a few yourself.

So, when it comes to competition, maybe try to think of it as something within yourself. Something that drives you to be so much more than the last audition or job you did. Strive to be a better, more unique you, than you could ever imagine. That's when competition becomes something of value. At forty nine, almost fifty, I am still extremely competitive within myself. Sometimes I fail, but more often I triumph...usually as a result of my failures. Do your best to be happy for your colleagues in their triumphs also. This mind set will only lead to more good for you in the end. Remember...there's room for EVERYBODY!

Sincerely Stephen Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer in Toronto