Okay...So Now What?

So you did it, you landed that dream contract, and It was quite possibly everything and more than you could ever hope for. Or perhaps you just graduated from theatre school, in which you'd received accolades from all your teachers, friends and family, for all that you've accomplished. You've posted your photos on Facebook, and added twenty new people to your friend's list. Your recent tweet on your Twitter account reads #livingthedream #grateful #actorslife. Things just couldn't be any better because after all, you've made it, and you're ready to take on the world, except for one thing... what happens now? It was just last week, when you were living out your life on the stage, and, as abruptly as it started, it has now come to an end. All of a sudden many of your new friends are going their separate ways, you no longer have a daily routine to look forward to, the paycheque has stopped, and just like that, you're right back where you started. Welcome to the world of the theatre.
Now before we all decide to slit our wrists,... lets just stop and think about it for a minute. You've just accomplished something you've worked very hard towards, for many, many years. You met and worked with thoughtful, engaging artists, and were able to learn so much from them. You had many wonderful and new life experiences, that you'll be able to draw on for the rest of your life. So, why so blue? There's an old saying that reads "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." Well, I'd like to add to that, to read  "In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and every show you ever do, is going to close." (It was Benjamin Franklin who came up with the first part, I just added the new part,

Closing night of The Sound of Music

 to suit my needs.)

Having been in the business as long as I have, I have gone through my share of shows coming and going, and projects that have been very special to me, finishing. It's never easy, but, does become easier. Of course I can only speak from my experience, and my perspective as to what works for me. But the way I see it, if you're starting to feel like you're in a rut, you probably are. I remember quite vividly being finished on The Sound of Music. For the next month, everything I cooked had melted cheese on it. Now, most of it was delicious, and I was feeling pretty optimistic, but do remember thinking to myself "this has to stop."
Truth be told, I was always pretty good at recognizing if I was in a rut, and most recently, have come across many friends who are in fact feeling this way. Not all for the same reasons, but all to do with the business of theatre. There's no doubt that this business is a tough haul. At some point or another, no matter who you are, you're going to go through a tough period. There are very few actors in this country who work consistently, and, whether someone works or not, is due to so many circumstances, most of which are beyond our control, and quite often have nothing to do with talent.  Quite often, when a show closes, it's quite easy to be fearful that we may never work again, and when auditions are scarce, we start to panic. But really, why all the fuss?
Now you may be thinking that this is very easy for me to say because I work all the time. Actually, I don't work all the time. In fact, there have been many instances in my life where I haven't worked in months. I may work all summer, then not work again until the following summer or longer. Especially now that I'm older, I'm a very specific hire. The difference is, it seems like I work all the time, as I'm always working on my craft. People often say to me "you're always so busy." Truthfully, I'm busy because I need to be. Holidays aside, If I'm not busy, I'm not productive, and most likely am not growing as an artist. For me personally, I need to be fulfilled, and a big part of that, is doing whatever I need to do, to enable my growth as an artist.
Admittedly, I am lucky that I teach, as that always makes me feel a part of things, but for me, that is never enough. I have found over the years, that once a show closes, or project finishes, what works best for me, is to become a student again. I usually take a few days off, then am right back at it, taking whatever classes are within my reach and budget. If money is an issue, I have vocal classes recorded that I can practice. Most recently, I came across a free acting seminar with a teacher from L.A. and jumped on it. Fitness has always been a big part of my work, and quite honestly lifts my mood.  There was one point in my life where I had very little money to take class, but at my gym, they had a studio and a ballet barre that I was able to take advantage of. It wasn't ideal, but it was something. The point is, I don't sit around and get sad because it's over.   I'm thankful that it happened, and then I'm on to working towards whatever may be next.

Most recently, I met a struggling actor who had just moved here from Montreal. He was mid thirties, non union, and was in the midst of trying to establish himself in a new city. I asked him how he coped, with very little at his disposal. He told me that every week, he got together with a group of actors to do scene study and script readings, as none of them had the means to take class at the moment. Earlier this season I did a Confidential Musical Theatre Project, in which I worked with many talented actors. I remember one in particular who blew my mind with both her voice and energy. This actor was vivacious, interesting, and a major force to be reckoned with. I was stunned to find out that although she had been in the business a long time, her career was just starting to take off now. The point is, these people are sticking with it, and really, for someone like me, they are the ones, I draw on for inspiration.

I remember quite vividly, reading one of the late Uta Hagen's books on acting, (for those of you who aren't familiar with who she is, she was a renowned, New York  actor and teacher), in which she expressed how taken a back she always was, when friend's of hers would say things like "You're such a wonderful actor, it's a shame you're not working." You see, in her mind, she was always working. If she wasn't doing a show at that given moment, she was always developing new exercises and trying new things, to enhance her craft. That was something that has always stuck with me.

So, schools out, your show closed...get over it, and get busy. By all means, allow yourself a little down time, but if you're starting to feel like you're in a rut, do something about it. Go to class, write, work on some music, challenge yourself and take something that's totally out of your comfort zone, and by all means if you're whining, stop, and take in to consideration the numerous actors who just wish, they had had, the same opportunities afforded to you. If you have the opportunity, travel. Although I'm a big advocate of working hard, seeing the world and experiencing different cultures, in my mind, is invaluable.

In Sitges, Spain. Travel is important!

Although this can be a tough time, this can also be an amazing time of self discovery. That in itself is exciting. So take advantage, enjoy the ride, bumps and all, it's what makes us human, keeps us humble, and makes us interesting.
And remember... Who cares if life doesn't turn out exactly as planned.  Sometimes, it's even better!

Stephen Scott Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who's now getting character roles because I work really hard), in Toronto

Life After Mary and Re Learning How to Juggle

Well..I'm back...and after a four month absence, I've finally sat down to write my first blog post of 2015. Now there are a couple reasons for my absence, one, I've been vacillating on what to write about next, and two, I've been busy. That's right, busy.
 I've been thinking a lot about being busy lately. There's definitely good busy, and then there's being so busy, that it can take away from life and it's enjoyment. I'm unsure why, but in this day and age, we seem to wear our busy schedules like a badge of honour. Think about it, often when asking someone how they are doing, more often than not, they'll ramble on about how they're juggling three jobs, a home life, and whatever extra curricular activity they may be pursuing at any given moment. They relay this information with great pride, almost as if they should be given a special award for the ability to maintain their busy lifestyle. Then we have the other end of the spectrum, you know, those times in our lives when we're not very busy at all. For some reason, we as a society have come to be embarrassed by this fact. I find that in the business of Art/Theatre/Entertainment, we become even more embarrassed by this  because usually being "not busy" means we are not working. I don't know about you, but in the past, I used to feel my self worth as an artist, was directly related to the jobs I was being cast in. It took me a long time to realize that not to be true. In fact, at times, being "not busy" means I have more time to train, connect with people I love, take on new and exciting projects, or, even being in a show.
Allow me to explain that last statement. I had an amazing season last year with Mary Poppins. I was able to perform in two different productions, in three wonderful theatres. There are many things I loved about last season...working with wonderful, giving artists, travelling and living in different places, being given the opportunity to perform multiple roles, the list is abundant and real. One of the things I loved most, is that once the show was up and running, my schedule was normal. That's right, normal. I had one job, a lot of leisure time, and I loved it. I was able to spend a lot of time at the gym, re-connecting with friends and family, and honestly, just enjoying my life. It was great!

As Northbrook in Mary Poppins backstage at The Capitol Theatre in Port Hope

Towards the end of the run in Port Hope, with not a lot of work lined up, I thought to myself, "I just want to be really busy." Well...I got my wish. The week before our run in Port Hope was about to finish, the only work I had lined up was teaching one class a week at Metro Movement, and I was nervous about not having enough work to sustain me. As luck would have it, Sheridan College found themselves in need of a jazz teacher, and once again I was hired. It was a relief. If nothing else, my mortgage was covered. Upon my arrival home, I also managed to book a lot of catering shifts, and from there, the ball just kept rolling. In October I started working part time at The Four Season's Centre for the Arts, (a job that I have become quite fond of), and although every situation is not ideal, I felt that indeed I had been looked after. Now, I have never been one to shy away from hard work, but my greatest challenge of late has been finding balance in my life. At present I'm juggling four jobs, to make up for one. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining, I'm just re learning how to juggle. I've had to become more aware of what's important and what warrants my time the most. Many would think that spending time to write this blog may in fact be a waste of time for someone so busy. Well, on the contrary,  for me, I find it very rewarding. Just like I find going to a dance class or vocal class very rewarding. In my life , these are the things that are still important.

One of my greatest joys in this past four months was being cast in The Confidential Musical Theatre Project. (I know...as if I didn't have enough on my plate). The Confidential Musical Theatre Project is the Brain Child of Marion Abott Piccin and Rob Corbett. For those of you who don't know, the concept is this: Producers cast a show and send you the script and score. You learn the music and familiarize yourself with the part you've been cast in, but never rehearse with the other actors. Then on the night of the show, you meet the cast, (for the first time), an hour and a half before the show, and perform, script in hand on a bare bones stage, for an audience that does not know what show they're about to see. There's no safety net, you have no idea how the other actors are going to respond, and there's no going back... It's terrifying and invigorating at the same time. I can honestly tell you that I had never felt more alive and more present on stage than I had on that night. When I was first approached about doing this project, I jumped at the opportunity. I did not ask what the show was, or what part I'd been playing, I just said yes. I had heard about the companies past two shows, and my short background at Second City had made me very excited to work on a project of this nature. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I had been cast as the leading man. I was flattered, surprised, and kind of scared. This would be my first time doing a lead in a musical and there were sure to be expectations, and if I'm totally honest, judgement. I could just hear it..."Stephen Findlay, the dancer, doing a lead in a musical...how did that happen? Can he even sing?"  But once I got over myself, (realizing that the voices of judgement and fear were for the most part mine), as well as the initial shock and fear of the producers casting decision, I got to work...which didn't feel like work at all. I learnt the music, and dove in to the script to see if I could figure out who this person was. Not having the benefit of a director, I truly had to trust my gut on whatever choices I made, knowing that I'd never have the opportunity to re visit or re think these choices again. That's right, this was a one night only

The cast of Bells are Ringing where I played Jeff Moss for The Confidential Musical Theatre Project

opportunity. During my preparation for this project, one thing that had become more and more apparent as the night drew close, was that one of the best things I could do was just to be present in the moment, to listen, and to make sure I had my fellow cast members back...just in case any of  us should drop the ball, and you know what, we did. All of us, at one point, dropped the ball, and the audience loved it. We supported each other fully in the process and maintained the integrity of our story telling. It made me aware that although I was playing a lead, I was in fact, a member of a greater ensemble. I had realized that through this project I had been given a gift. I was able to step on that stage, sing beautifully written music, in a beautifully crafted show, with truly talented actors, for a sold out house. I even got to improvise a dance break in one of my numbers. What more could any actor ask for. It was truly an experience that I would not trade, and one that I recommend to any actor given the opportunity.

I saw this the other day on facebook and found it inspiring

Like everyone else who pursues an artistic life, I do question the choices I made and am continuing to make. Like everyone else, money, relationships, and lifestyle are important. At times I think that perhaps this may be the time to pursue something more secure and what most would consider to be a more normal existence. But really, normal is highly over rated and who wants to just exist. My reality is such that I want to live a life that is full and rich. I want to have cool life experiences and I want to continue to live with the enthusiasm of someone who is just starting out. Yes, there are bumps in the road, and no one gets through life unscathed. That's a given. But knowing that as a reality, makes the argument for living your life fully, and with passion, that much more important.
One of the things that has become very apparent in my life is that finding the time to train in my field, to continue to take risks, and to keep growing as an artist, is directly connected to my vitality and well being. Although I often must conscientiously set aside time to do this, it is time that is well spent. I find that for me personally, if I don't feel like I'm active in my artistic life, a part of me feels incomplete. So yes, I'm having to juggle and at times I do have a lot on my plate, but at the end of the day, I'm grateful for living a life that means something to me.
I encourage all of you to go out and do something that moves you. Take a risk, try something new, or simply do something you love for the shear joy of it. If you don't have the time, find it or...just learn how to juggle. I guarantee it will make that busy life we all seem to lead far less busy and
that much more rewarding.
Yours Truly Stephen Findlay
A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who also sings and acts), in Toronto