It's a Hard Knock Life, Social Media Matters, It's Not Me, It's Them, and Other Clever Anecdotes

Hi all, it's nice to be back. I haven't written a post in a while, but have been putting a few on the back burner. When I first started this blog, I posted much more frequently. But given that I had said so much, and felt that I had covered so much, I usually only post when inspiration hits. Oddly enough, inspiration can be drawn from many unlikely sources.

So, you've been treated unjustly, life has not been fair, and you feel victimised by the business. Well, congratulations, you've made it! You have now entered that elite group of thespians known as EVERY ACTOR IN THE WORLD. I'm not kidding. There isn't one actor I know of on this planet, who has not felt that way at one time or another. The bad news is, that feeling never fully goes away. The good news however, is that if we are smart, we do learn how to deal with those feelings/situations when they arise.

Full disclosure here, when I was younger, I used to hang on to every single audition I did. If I felt I deserved it, and didn't book it, I was a wreck. If I didn't get to audition for something that I felt I should have, I was furious. Sometimes I could hang on to these feelings for days, and more often than not, I felt that I was a victim of someone else's poor judgement, or that I was being denied something that I rightfully deserved. Now eight times out of ten, when I saw the person in the show, who was cast instead of me, I understood it immediately. The other two times, well...in my mind it was usually nepotism, or a casting mistake. But even then, that's an opinion, and not necessarily how others would see it.

Over the years, somehow, I've just learnt how to deal with it better. It's actually not any one thing I did, but rather, I've just gained a maturity and a wider scope of knowledge, when it comes to casting, and really, human nature. Now, when I finish an audition, if I did my best, I've felt that I've done my job, and do my best to forget about it. In which, I'd say, my success rate is about ninety percent. The truth is, if you're feeling that you're a victim in a casting situation, the reality is, you're probably the only one.

I remember the first time I felt victimised. I was nineteen years old and auditioning for the Alberta Ballet Company. At the end of what I felt was a great audition, the artistic director took me to his office and proceeded to tell me that I'd never be a ballet dancer because of the lack of stretch in my feet. He then proceeded to suggest, that I have them broken, to improve the look/stretch of them. Imagine that, telling a nineteen year old child, (if I'm being honest), to break bones in his body, to improve his chances of getting a job. I totally felt victimised, both by my feet, and by his lack of vision. But the truth is, he didn't feel that way, from his perspective,  he felt he was doing me a favour, and my feet, well, they couldn't help it.

As a young ballet dancer, I never had great feet, but I really had a great jump.

Now that was the first time. Over the years, there have been many, many, many times, (yes, that was three many's), that I felt victimised by the business. Although I was always extremely emotional about any given situation, I was always pretty good at hiding those emotions, and usually put on a good game face... except from the people who directly surrounded me. Sadly, they had to endure all of it, and it wasn't pretty. (Ugh, sorry you guys.) I get it, it's tough. I've always felt that along with all the singing, acting, dancing, clowning, and whatever else they may teach you in theatre school, the one thing they all need to touch on, is how to deal with rejection, and what not to do.

Now I can't really tell you to not have feelings or to not feel victimised, all of that is personal, and everyone, I think, needs to come to dealing with those things, on their own terms. I mean really, we're actors, which usually translates to "the most insecure beings ever." What I can tell you is, that it's probably not in your best interest, to post about it on Social Media.
Social Media can be a wonderful thing. It's a great marketing tool, it's free, it can be a lot of fun, and can really serve you in so many ways. But getting caught up in posts that render you the victim, is not serving you, your career, or your mental health in a positive light.

Now, I am certainly not without guilt. At times I could be the worst. Up until not that long ago, I could get in to arguments on Social Media feeds, dealing with whatever the hot political topic of the day was, that seemed to go on indefinitely. In such arguments, I could be like a dog with a bone, and if I felt I was right, I could be relentless. I soon came to realize, that these arguments on a public forum, were extremely toxic by nature, and in the end, served absolutely no one. As a good friend of mine put it "We seem to be doing a lot of talking at each other, and not to each other." Not to mention, everyone sees them. Yes, your SOCIAL MEDIA MATTERS. Thank goodness, there was no social media around at the height of all my actor related neurosis... Oh my, I'd still be making amends.

If I could suggest, that the next time you're feeling victimised by the business, and want to post about it on social media. Stop, and take a breath. Write it down in long hand and read it back to yourself a few times. After that, read it aloud a few times. Now, if you still feel like posting, imagine that every single producer, director, musical director, choreographer, dance captain, casting agent, and agent, that you ever wanted to work with, is on your feed reading this. Now not only are they reading  your woes of victimisation, they're injecting it with tone. Probably not the tone you had intended, but rather their interpretation. (Which we all do. I'm sure every single person reading this post, is injecting it with tone right now. It's impossible not to.) Now if you still want to post on Social Media, fill your boots. But do know, what you post, can have unfavourable consequences, and the last thing any actor needs is a bad reputation, based on what very well could be, a knee jerk reaction.

Make no mistake,  I'm not saying there is no validity to your feelings, or your particular situation. Sometimes things can happen, and yes, sometimes we are the victims of our circumstance, and it can really suck. I'm also not telling you not to vent. Sometimes venting or having a good cry, can be the best thing for us. As long as we don't live in that negative place, it can be quite cathartic. All I'm saying is, choose your venue, and your audience, wisely. Consider going for a glass of wine or for coffee with a friend, and maybe use them as your sounding board. Chances are, they will be a much more empathetic, than your social media following. You can also channel that negativity in a positive way, by putting all that energy in to your work, for the betterment of your craft. After all, we're actors, we need to be able to draw upon all those feelings, at any given time.
Now, I've been quite forthcoming with the fact, that I too, have fallen victim to the rabbit hole of Social Media. I too, have felt victimised by the business, and I too have dealt with things poorly. Even now, if I see a hot topic on facebook that I'm dying to chime in on, I take a step back, take a deep breath, and do my very best to keep scrolling down.
As it is in life, the business, of our business, is not always fair. But really, whoever said it was? For as long as you stay in it, there will always be situations, that feel unjust or unfair. What can determine your success as both an artist, and a human being, is how you choose to deal with these situations when they arise. Now, I know many of you are thinking, yes, but you've had a very long, and a pretty blessed career. Yes, I have. You're right. I've also kept my skills sharp, worked very hard, and deserved every single thing I've ever got, and somehow, still managed to whine a bit along the way.
As I've progressed, I've also managed to be very honest with myself, my abilities, my weaknesses, and insecurities. Looking back, most of the time I felt the victim, I wasn't. More often than not, the people in the position to hire you, don't have "victimising actors" on their to do list. They have much more important things to deal with.

without each other, our light begins to fade

It's no secret, I have a lot of miles on me. Currently, this is my thirty fourth year in the business. I've seen a lot, and have done a lot. For a lot of you reading this, I've actually been in the business longer than many of you have been alive. We all know life isn't easy and we always don't get dealt the best hand. When we do have those times in which our dreams are fulfilled, it can feel euphoric. But when it's the opposite, it can be a pretty hard place to be. At this juncture in life, one of the most important things in my mind, is that we are there for each other, and in support of each other. There's a lot going on in the world right now, that is much more important than that Tim Horton's commercial, or that summer stock production of Mama Mia you just auditioned for. Don't believe me, then turn on the news, and see how the people of Mexico City or Puerto Rico are doing. If that seems far off, there are many places right outside your back door that you can look to. I can't tell you what to do, but if you're an actor actively wanting to work, perhaps keeping your social media in a more positive light, may serve you better in the long run.
Lets wrap this up, shall we; What we do is a wonderful, exciting, maddening, exhilarating, giving, narcissistic, exhausting, healing, painful, emotional, and definitely not for the faint of heart, rollercoaster of a journey. There are many bumps, hills, and sharp turns along the way. At times, it can feel like the most glorious profession in the world, and at times it can feel hopeless. But know this, as long as there are actors, there's an acting community, that will be there for you, and help lift you up, when you are down. No matter who you are in the business, what we do, is an ensemble effort, and if we don't have each other, our light begins to fade.
So, lets take care of each other, support each other, lend an ear, and don't be afraid to give someone a loving kick in the ass when they need it, and I will do the same.

Stephen Findlay

A.K.A. - The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (who's managed to now break out of the chorus), in Toronto

                               

                                                 Keeping The Momentum Going


Hi all, I'm back. I haven't contributed to my blog for quite a long time, not because I became disinterested, but because I felt, that I had said a lot already. In fact, I felt that I had covered so much, that I probably would not post again, until I felt I had something of value to add. So, here I am, back at the computer, with plenty to say.

First off, I admit it, I love the month of January. I really do. To me, a new year always represents new opportunities, and a fresh start. Now I know I am not alone in this, if you don't believe me, check out any gym, yoga, or dance studio in your area. I always love too, the energy at the studio come January. You'll always find many people brushing off their dance shoes, with new found determination, getting ready for potential auditions, or perhaps just wanting to get back in shape. Whatever the reason, the energy is always infectious, and inspiring. This past January, as this never ending cycle continues, I have seen so many old and new faces at the studio, and it makes me very happy. I also have to add, it's been a pretty exciting time of late. There seems to be more auditions happening this past year than usual, and dancers are able to step up to the plate, and get their turn at bat. It seemed like for a long time, auditions were few and far between. Many theatres had adopted the mind set of a repertory company, and were hiring mostly dancers that they were familiar with. There are definite benefits to this for sure, for both the dancer and the theatre. I myself have benefited from this. But there's really no substitute from both the energy, and sense of community, that auditioning brings about. It also makes us as dancers responsible, for maintaining and improving upon our skills, that we worked so hard to develop. It keeps the stakes high, and empowers us not to become complacent. A good friend of mine recently said to me, "there's a lot to be said for going to an audition, and feeling that you've earned the job," and I couldn't agree more.


Now I am not really one for making New Years resolutions. I did make one small one...so now I'm drinking warm lemon water before my coffee in the morning. I figured, this accomplishment, would be easy to attain, and it has. I really did not feel the need to make a resolution in regards to dancing or fitness, as I've always been very responsible in regards to them both. Had I not, I would not be dancing at the level I am, at 52 years of age.

After settling back in to the city full time after a wonderful season in Port Hope, I was unable to take class as much as I like, as I was choreographing a cabaret for The Randolph Academy. The whole experience was very fulfilling, but did not keep me in the dance shape, I'm accustomed to being in. So although it wasn't a "resolution", I was determined that come January, when things on all fronts were slow for me, I would get back in to solid dance shape. Now, ten years ago, this would have taken me a week, but at fifty two years of age, you can triple that amount of time, and add in a bottle of tylenol, to compliment the process. So, as far as that all goes, I'm feeling pretty good, and I am starting to feel on top of things again.  

On stage at the Capitol Theatre in Port Hope

So this morning, I kind of surprised myself. As always, I had a lot to accomplish today, and was on the fence about going to class. What I have left out thus far, is that at this point and time, my work at the COC is quite slow, and I do in fact, have a lot of time on my hands. My point being, I have plenty of time, to do whatever needs to be done. I knew January would be slow, and had planned for that financially, and had also planned to dance as much as I could. So in recognizing that, I immediately went upstairs and packed my dance bag. I was not going to miss out on the opportunity to take dance class today. I thought, "I must keep the momentum going."

It did make me think though, is this new found January energy going to continue? Will the studio continue to be that bustling, energetic place, it has been for the last few weeks? Will the people that committed to getting their dancing back in shape continue? After all, experts say it takes three weeks to develop a new habit. Will I see the same people, and others, in February, continuing on with their new found habit? Well, I don't know, but given my optimistic nature, I am going to hope for the best!

Musical Theatre Class at Metro Movement

What became very clear to me this morning, was the fact, that the dance studio has always been a great source of joy for me. This became even more poignant, given that yesterday was the Bell Let's Talk Campaign, dealing with, and talking about mental illness. Now, I do not suffer from mental illness, I may share some of the same anxieties as everyone else, but they are not insurmountable. I do feel however, that I am very lucky to have dance as a source of joy. Throughout my life, on any given day, no matter how I felt going in, that as long as I was in good physical health, I always felt better for going to dance class. It's simple really, tap shoes make me happy, lay backs give me great satisfaction, and there's nothing as exhilarating as doing grand allegro at the end of a great ballet class. It's just who I am. So today of all days, I'm very happy I did not deny myself of my joy.

Taking class with Stephanie Cadman

So, for those of you who share my joy of dance class, please, do your very best to keep that habit going. I fully realize that different sets of challenges do affect us all, be it financial, work, lack of motivation, injuries, all are valid and all are pretty much going to creep their way in to our lives. Welcome to adulthood. But I always maintain, challenges present themselves, so that we can overcome them. There may be bumps along the way, and at times you will fall off the bus, I certainly have, but do know, the ride becomes far less bumpy, once you get back on.

So here's hoping I'll see all those happy, wonderful, dancers, I've become so accustomed to seeing this past month, in the coming weeks. I encourage you all, to keep the momentum going! The rewards in doing so may not be immediate, but surely they will present themselves at some point along the way.


Sincerely Stephen Scott Findlay

A.K.A. The Oldest Male Chorus Dancer, (well actually, I do get roles now), in Toronto